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A Few Thoughts Re: Intimacy
Dec. 8th, 2013 08:24 amI've given a lot of thought to intimacy over the years, to its various forms/types as well as to how much it's necessary for a full, rich, meaningful life (which is to say lots, TMM). Realizing though that physical intimacy, while it can help achieve greater intimacy, ain't necessary for good, deep intimacy, for closeness, for what's gained by sharing trust. It can serve to strengthen bonds, but not having it doesn't mean that what's there ain't seriously strong. (Just think of Best Friends (or relatives) for proof, in case it's not obvious.)
Deep abiding trust is a jewel, a gem, a treasure...something not given up lightly or easily...and something that can be retracted, lost, or otherwise can go away. Damn it hurts when 'twas there and then it's gone. IT = closeness, in part b'c of (or mainly because of?) trust, connection, openness, willingness to be vulnerable. Then sometimes it lingers, only the person's gone away. And years later, reconnection can happen. THAT is a delight!
How to be worthy of trust and openness to intimacy? Be truthful to myself. Do what I need to do for myself. Take care of myself. Be my own primary, and be a good one.
Important not to let past failures and/or losses prevent future ability to be open/vulnerable. Don't want to harden. Do though want to learn from mistakes/errors (some of action, some of judgment). Don't want to make the same mistakes again, f'rinstance.
Yet I'm tired of all the analysis. Feeling like letting go the mind and keep letting the heart/gut lead for a while. Will I pay attention though when Warning Lights flash? Will I stop and think "hey, something's telling me to back off and/or beware," and more importantly, will I act appropriately? Well, what's appropriate? And then I start spiraling back to thinking too damned much, so stopping again now. ;-P
Deep abiding trust is a jewel, a gem, a treasure...something not given up lightly or easily...and something that can be retracted, lost, or otherwise can go away. Damn it hurts when 'twas there and then it's gone. IT = closeness, in part b'c of (or mainly because of?) trust, connection, openness, willingness to be vulnerable. Then sometimes it lingers, only the person's gone away. And years later, reconnection can happen. THAT is a delight!
How to be worthy of trust and openness to intimacy? Be truthful to myself. Do what I need to do for myself. Take care of myself. Be my own primary, and be a good one.
Important not to let past failures and/or losses prevent future ability to be open/vulnerable. Don't want to harden. Do though want to learn from mistakes/errors (some of action, some of judgment). Don't want to make the same mistakes again, f'rinstance.
Yet I'm tired of all the analysis. Feeling like letting go the mind and keep letting the heart/gut lead for a while. Will I pay attention though when Warning Lights flash? Will I stop and think "hey, something's telling me to back off and/or beware," and more importantly, will I act appropriately? Well, what's appropriate? And then I start spiraling back to thinking too damned much, so stopping again now. ;-P
