Being Present/In the Here & Now

[mlerules]

I feel a ramble building, an upswelling (an upchucking? a disgorging?) of thought bubbles (bile?) ready to burst open...something about mental & emotional multi-tasking and staying/being healthy. Dunno where it'll end up, b'c it's spontaneous writing (rather than more reflective - another of my standard mental/writing modes).

Mebbe mental & emotional multi-tasking ain't so helpful/healthy. There's lots of talk about the importance of "being in the here and the now," of being "fully present." Does this mean that "being fully present in the here & now" is somehow less authentic/real/right if'n it includes a nagging/underlying/persistent awareness of "stuff I gotta be doing/dealing with other than whatever I'm currently engaged in?"

Seems to me that, at times, "being fully in the here & now" INCLUDES this nagging awareness that there's MORE/OTHER stuff to be doing/thinking about/considering. But mebbe the point of all this Here & Now stuff is to focus for a time on whatEVER the here & now activity/process you've chosen to engage in/work on happens to be to the EXCLUSION of all t'other nagging voices and worries and what-about-XY&Z-stuff. Yet taking the time/energy to wander away from the task at hand can be incredibly calming as well...

And then I look out the window, admire and appreciate the view, note the effects of the Golden Hour as the sunlight makes the purple house across the way glow, smile at the bare branches w/the thought that they'll slowly begin to leaf out soon, then bud & flower before again losing their leaves...and I get caught up in thinking about where in the process I am, seasonally and otherwisely...and I lose track of what I "should" be doing for a moment of Here & Now'ness.

Kittenhead Havana's curled up next to me, purring away, meow'ing when I pull my hand away (I'd paused in my typing for a time to pet her). I just took a sip of hot tea (Granville Island's Smokey Afternoon Blend) and the taste returned me to last year's we3 V-day w'end in Vancouver (B.C.) where/when I first tasted it...thus my strongly focused Here & Now moment included a definite rememberance of back when component (does this mean it's not really Here & Now or now "properly" H&N or what?)

HERE & NOW: I'm currently (these days as well as this afternoon and right freaking here & right freaking now) fairly frustrated b'c I just don't seem to know how to do some stuff (mainly technical stuff). I don't wanna do things WRONG (and fark things up). Yet I'm not real clear on how do to 'em right - or how to figure out HOW to do 'em properly.

I've managed to get a mess of music (properly & rightly) into my new laptop's iTunes (database on laptop, data/music/files itself on external hard-drive). I've got a mess more (a) in my olde laptop - where exactly is an issue as it's had a series of freak-outs and identity crises and seems to have forgotten where its files are (or some reason cannot access 'em)...yes, it's my Alzheimer's Machine, (b) in my olde desktop up in the attic, and (c) on another external hard-drive (improperly formatted/saved/stored to make it easy, sadly). Then there's all my PHOTOS (in same (a) - (c) locations w/similar problematic issues), as well as possibly on zip-drives - no, I don't have a zip-drive-reader - and CDs). I'm incredibly frustrated and annoyed at myself for not knowing how to do and deal w/this stuff and for not being able to figure out how do to all. There's a whole internet of info out there and I feel as if I'm drowning in data...so I throw up my hands and look outside the window again, finding solace in the shifting shadows and fading colors (it's staying light past 5pm now - very exciting) and in the soft kittenhead by my side, who only cares where her next dose of fur-loving and wet-food comes from...

Not bouncing. Slowly shifting 'tween frustration and calmness, staying more calm actually, but with definite quiet annoyance (albeit w/acceptance of the state). Not quite sure what I'm gonna DO about all this. I may Just Do It, w/IT = give it a go/shot/try and see what happens. What's the worst that's likely to happen? Hell if I know! Gah! Nah, not a bad/overly frustrated "gah," more of a resigned acceptance, a quiet WTF? moment, a sigh...

Comments

[vonvoncake.livejournal.com]

Honey, you can't expect to know how to do EVERYTHING. What you just described seems to be a problem best handled by a certified Geek since it involves converting files, recalcitrant hard drives and operating systems and general techno-magic. And there are many things that you do incredibly well that are so much more important to the world at large. You just exist incredibly well, love incredibly well, friend incredibly well...and that to me is more valuable than if you can transfer music from one format to another.

Find a Geek who's looking for dinner and make a trade. You'll thank yourself.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much for this - it's appreciated greatly, as are you.

Here and Now

[magickalmom.livejournal.com]

Lately I have been doing a lot of practice of being in the H&N and this is what I have observed for myself. To be H&N I need to not worry so much about the future. Sure I have to plan, like creating my packing list for my trip this weekend but I also do not need to obsess about said packing list. I made it and I set it aside for when it is time to pack. In the meanwhile now I am free to focus on the H&N... the petting of my lovely red doxie.

I also must not spend so much time focusing on the past. This last weekend in particular was difficult and required processing. Thing is I took time, sat with myself, processed and put it aside for "lessoned learned." And now that I am no longer fretting about the past, I have time to be present with my husband who is cuddled up beside of me while I type and when I am done typing I shall just spend some time experiencing his touch and noting all of the nuances of that touch.

I think the practice of H&N is not supposed to be about being present all of the time and not allowing other things to enter into our minds but more like taking the time to be present at some point in our days; not letting the experiences of our life pass us by in a whirlwind of what I have to do tomorrow or what I did yesterday.

To practice being present all f the time seems to me too much like a constant state of meditation, and beside monks.. who can go through life doing such a practice?

Just by reading your above post, it seems to me that while you may have worried about the past and the future, you were taking time to pause and be present in the H&N... like the time you took experiencing your kitty or replaying your happier travel experiences. Its taking that time to just be still with yourself, your pet, your memories, or whatever that will allow some of the anxiety of always being on the move to just settle and calm.

But that is just my two cents.

Yesterday I took 15 minutes to just be present while I was washing dishes... the sensory input of just that simple task.. things that I normally filter out with other thoughts and to-do-lists is just baffling! It was certainly rewarding but not something I could do all day. LOL!

Re: Here and Now

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for your input 'n' thoughts, as it helps me see this (H&N stuff) in a different - and more sensible - light. I appreciate it. :-)

Re: Here and Now

[sheistheweather]

I think the practice of H&N is not supposed to be about being present all of the time and not allowing other things to enter into our minds but more like taking the time to be present at some point in our days; not letting the experiences of our life pass us by in a whirlwind of what I have to do tomorrow or what I did yesterday.

I agree.

On the tech note, I have no idea how packed tanuki_green's time is right now, but perhaps you could see if he could help you, since y'all're local to each other.

Re: Here and Now

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's a good idea. :-)

Actually, I think I've got it under control now after my initial freak-out. It's all part of my "process." *sighs yet smiles*

[vismaya-viewer.livejournal.com]

So with you in the thought process. I think I need some Hive couch time, with you, kitten-heads and purple houses through bee curtains to discuss these things. *hugs*

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Come on down!

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

You're most welcome here.

Delayed Reaction

[darthsunshine.livejournal.com]

This post has stuck with me, and today I came across an article that does a much better job of describing what 'being present' or 'mindfulness' means to me than I had been able to put together. The article: How to Bring More Mindfulness into Your Life (http://www.dukehealth.org/health_library/health_articles/howtobringmoremindfulness). I think it boils down to less about *what* you're doing and/or thinking about and more about the *quality of attention* you're paying to whatever it is (or whatever they are if there's more than one).

Thanks for posting such sticky (in that kept-me-pondering kind of way) thoughts. :)

Re: Delayed Reaction

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for the link, as it's full of juicy tasty brain-fodder.

Glad to be sticky for you.