Being Present/In the Here & Now
Jan. 27th, 2010 04:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesI feel a ramble building, an upswelling (an upchucking? a disgorging?) of thought bubbles (bile?) ready to burst open...something about mental & emotional multi-tasking and staying/being healthy. Dunno where it'll end up, b'c it's spontaneous writing (rather than more reflective - another of my standard mental/writing modes).
Mebbe mental & emotional multi-tasking ain't so helpful/healthy. There's lots of talk about the importance of "being in the here and the now," of being "fully present." Does this mean that "being fully present in the here & now" is somehow less authentic/real/right if'n it includes a nagging/underlying/persistent awareness of "stuff I gotta be doing/dealing with other than whatever I'm currently engaged in?"
Seems to me that, at times, "being fully in the here & now" INCLUDES this nagging awareness that there's MORE/OTHER stuff to be doing/thinking about/considering. But mebbe the point of all this Here & Now stuff is to focus for a time on whatEVER the here & now activity/process you've chosen to engage in/work on happens to be to the EXCLUSION of all t'other nagging voices and worries and what-about-XY&Z-stuff. Yet taking the time/energy to wander away from the task at hand can be incredibly calming as well...
And then I look out the window, admire and appreciate the view, note the effects of the Golden Hour as the sunlight makes the purple house across the way glow, smile at the bare branches w/the thought that they'll slowly begin to leaf out soon, then bud & flower before again losing their leaves...and I get caught up in thinking about where in the process I am, seasonally and otherwisely...and I lose track of what I "should" be doing for a moment of Here & Now'ness.
Kittenhead Havana's curled up next to me, purring away, meow'ing when I pull my hand away (I'd paused in my typing for a time to pet her). I just took a sip of hot tea (Granville Island's Smokey Afternoon Blend) and the taste returned me to last year's we3 V-day w'end in Vancouver (B.C.) where/when I first tasted it...thus my strongly focused Here & Now moment included a definite rememberance of back when component (does this mean it's not really Here & Now or now "properly" H&N or what?)
HERE & NOW: I'm currently (these days as well as this afternoon and right freaking here & right freaking now) fairly frustrated b'c I just don't seem to know how to do some stuff (mainly technical stuff). I don't wanna do things WRONG (and fark things up). Yet I'm not real clear on how do to 'em right - or how to figure out HOW to do 'em properly.
I've managed to get a mess of music (properly & rightly) into my new laptop's iTunes (database on laptop, data/music/files itself on external hard-drive). I've got a mess more (a) in my olde laptop - where exactly is an issue as it's had a series of freak-outs and identity crises and seems to have forgotten where its files are (or some reason cannot access 'em)...yes, it's my Alzheimer's Machine, (b) in my olde desktop up in the attic, and (c) on another external hard-drive (improperly formatted/saved/stored to make it easy, sadly). Then there's all my PHOTOS (in same (a) - (c) locations w/similar problematic issues), as well as possibly on zip-drives - no, I don't have a zip-drive-reader - and CDs). I'm incredibly frustrated and annoyed at myself for not knowing how to do and deal w/this stuff and for not being able to figure out how do to all. There's a whole internet of info out there and I feel as if I'm drowning in data...so I throw up my hands and look outside the window again, finding solace in the shifting shadows and fading colors (it's staying light past 5pm now - very exciting) and in the soft kittenhead by my side, who only cares where her next dose of fur-loving and wet-food comes from...
Not bouncing. Slowly shifting 'tween frustration and calmness, staying more calm actually, but with definite quiet annoyance (albeit w/acceptance of the state). Not quite sure what I'm gonna DO about all this. I may Just Do It, w/IT = give it a go/shot/try and see what happens. What's the worst that's likely to happen? Hell if I know! Gah! Nah, not a bad/overly frustrated "gah," more of a resigned acceptance, a quiet WTF? moment, a sigh...
Mebbe mental & emotional multi-tasking ain't so helpful/healthy. There's lots of talk about the importance of "being in the here and the now," of being "fully present." Does this mean that "being fully present in the here & now" is somehow less authentic/real/right if'n it includes a nagging/underlying/persistent awareness of "stuff I gotta be doing/dealing with other than whatever I'm currently engaged in?"
Seems to me that, at times, "being fully in the here & now" INCLUDES this nagging awareness that there's MORE/OTHER stuff to be doing/thinking about/considering. But mebbe the point of all this Here & Now stuff is to focus for a time on whatEVER the here & now activity/process you've chosen to engage in/work on happens to be to the EXCLUSION of all t'other nagging voices and worries and what-about-XY&Z-stuff. Yet taking the time/energy to wander away from the task at hand can be incredibly calming as well...
And then I look out the window, admire and appreciate the view, note the effects of the Golden Hour as the sunlight makes the purple house across the way glow, smile at the bare branches w/the thought that they'll slowly begin to leaf out soon, then bud & flower before again losing their leaves...and I get caught up in thinking about where in the process I am, seasonally and otherwisely...and I lose track of what I "should" be doing for a moment of Here & Now'ness.
Kittenhead Havana's curled up next to me, purring away, meow'ing when I pull my hand away (I'd paused in my typing for a time to pet her). I just took a sip of hot tea (Granville Island's Smokey Afternoon Blend) and the taste returned me to last year's we3 V-day w'end in Vancouver (B.C.) where/when I first tasted it...thus my strongly focused Here & Now moment included a definite rememberance of back when component (does this mean it's not really Here & Now or now "properly" H&N or what?)
HERE & NOW: I'm currently (these days as well as this afternoon and right freaking here & right freaking now) fairly frustrated b'c I just don't seem to know how to do some stuff (mainly technical stuff). I don't wanna do things WRONG (and fark things up). Yet I'm not real clear on how do to 'em right - or how to figure out HOW to do 'em properly.
I've managed to get a mess of music (properly & rightly) into my new laptop's iTunes (database on laptop, data/music/files itself on external hard-drive). I've got a mess more (a) in my olde laptop - where exactly is an issue as it's had a series of freak-outs and identity crises and seems to have forgotten where its files are (or some reason cannot access 'em)...yes, it's my Alzheimer's Machine, (b) in my olde desktop up in the attic, and (c) on another external hard-drive (improperly formatted/saved/stored to make it easy, sadly). Then there's all my PHOTOS (in same (a) - (c) locations w/similar problematic issues), as well as possibly on zip-drives - no, I don't have a zip-drive-reader - and CDs). I'm incredibly frustrated and annoyed at myself for not knowing how to do and deal w/this stuff and for not being able to figure out how do to all. There's a whole internet of info out there and I feel as if I'm drowning in data...so I throw up my hands and look outside the window again, finding solace in the shifting shadows and fading colors (it's staying light past 5pm now - very exciting) and in the soft kittenhead by my side, who only cares where her next dose of fur-loving and wet-food comes from...
Not bouncing. Slowly shifting 'tween frustration and calmness, staying more calm actually, but with definite quiet annoyance (albeit w/acceptance of the state). Not quite sure what I'm gonna DO about all this. I may Just Do It, w/IT = give it a go/shot/try and see what happens. What's the worst that's likely to happen? Hell if I know! Gah! Nah, not a bad/overly frustrated "gah," more of a resigned acceptance, a quiet WTF? moment, a sigh...
