Tokens Matter

[mlerules]

Finally getting around to reading The Ethical Slut. Gonna jot down various thoughts 'cause it helps keep 'em in mind:

It's okay (wise, even) to ask for reassurance (just not too often and not at the wrong time) when needed. Hmm. My caveat's a bit restrictive, potentially. Must remember - and act on the fact that - my needs matter.

I'm finding that someone's providing something I need (methinks it's reassurance...even though I'm really not sure 'bout what - mebbe just that I'm in mind, that I matter, that I'm special, even if not the only one, that I'm being considered/remembered) without my really even being aware that it's something I've needed. How is it that someone I sleep with (literally but not figuratively) can be so on the ball in some ways, yet so not in others? Unsolicited shows of concern and caring mean a lot to me, apparently. Little things. Tokens. They matter.

Affection matters. Reaching out matters. Being held matters. Huggles & snuggles matter.

Comments

[sheistheweather]

There are some things I don't like about that particular polyamoury book (although I have to go back and read it so I can accurately articulate what exactly it is about it that bothers me), but it also has some really good things to say.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm browsing and grazing and taking away the good stuff and chucking the dross.

[sheistheweather]

Exactly.