Tokens Matter
Sep. 3rd, 2007 09:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesFinally getting around to reading The Ethical Slut. Gonna jot down various thoughts 'cause it helps keep 'em in mind:
It's okay (wise, even) to ask for reassurance (just not too often and not at the wrong time) when needed. Hmm. My caveat's a bit restrictive, potentially. Must remember - and act on the fact that - my needs matter.
I'm finding that someone's providing something I need (methinks it's reassurance...even though I'm really not sure 'bout what - mebbe just that I'm in mind, that I matter, that I'm special, even if not the only one, that I'm being considered/remembered) without my really even being aware that it's something I've needed. How is it that someone I sleep with (literally but not figuratively) can be so on the ball in some ways, yet so not in others? Unsolicited shows of concern and caring mean a lot to me, apparently. Little things. Tokens. They matter.
Affection matters. Reaching out matters. Being held matters. Huggles & snuggles matter.
It's okay (wise, even) to ask for reassurance (just not too often and not at the wrong time) when needed. Hmm. My caveat's a bit restrictive, potentially. Must remember - and act on the fact that - my needs matter.
I'm finding that someone's providing something I need (methinks it's reassurance...even though I'm really not sure 'bout what - mebbe just that I'm in mind, that I matter, that I'm special, even if not the only one, that I'm being considered/remembered) without my really even being aware that it's something I've needed. How is it that someone I sleep with (literally but not figuratively) can be so on the ball in some ways, yet so not in others? Unsolicited shows of concern and caring mean a lot to me, apparently. Little things. Tokens. They matter.
Affection matters. Reaching out matters. Being held matters. Huggles & snuggles matter.
