mlerules: (Default)
This term has come up now and again when discussing/thinking about dealing with rship issues (including rship with oneself). Folks generally agree that it's best to have many tools available rather than trying to rely on a single one or two ('specially if we're talking Hammer & Tongs or Vice Grip).

Some of the ones that folks employ (usefulness varies):

Hammer & Tongs aka shouting it out or hammering home whatcher saying repeatedly, usually increasing volume but not varying the words used (not recommended).

Vice Grip aka holding so tight you never let go (not recommended).

Flux Capacitor aka the capacity to handle large quantities of flux in a rship (can be quite useful).

Compartmentalization aka keeping worlds apart (can be emotional worlds/segments within a single person) (can be helpful, but not always).

Journals aka writing stuff down to help work it out/through. Articulating thoughts/feelings can help one get a grip on them. Going back and reviewing journals can help spot/track patterns which one may want to revise...or revisit if found helpful in the past.

So, thoughts on other tools for the toolkit, either helpful or harmful? (Yes, how they're used can most definitely affect their impact.)

EDIT: Others have posted some good thoughts (one of which didn't appear here in comments for some reason). So, here's s'more:

Per Nomilomi: DC Power - Direct Contact, the benefits of physical touch. For people who are stabilized or recharged by this, this is a key component to regular functions. For me it's especially valuable when skin touches skin.

Per fjorlief: a few thoughts... someone over on your LJ mentioned physical touch, which can sometimes and for some people make communication more clear - perhaps could call it "contact cement". Also "mirrors" as in mirrored speech/active listening, where each person paraphrases what they other is trying to communicate, in a way of becoming more clear about what they each are trying to say to one another...

I find that writing multiple pages without censoring my writing can sometimes bring things I didn't realise were there to light, when exploring my own thoughts/feelings

And from the news (well, Dangerous Minds): Dialogue - https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/12/05/david-bohm-on-dialogue/

And finally, to boost sanity through giggles: Make America Kitten Again by Replacing Pics of Trump with Kittens:

http://www.businessinsider.com/make-america-kittens-again-google-chrome-extension-replaces-donald-trump-with-kittens-2016-12
mlerules: (tools)
Have plotted a way to decrease likelihood of double-dosing of meds and gotten some buy-in from regular caregiver. Hopefully this'll help minimize # and severity of seizures. Now'll stash a card w/important phone #s into wallet to increase chance of notification were something Bad to happen. Later on we'll go visit store to see about new cell phone to increase communication options in case of emergency and in general as well. It feels good making plans, instituting routines, and coming up with (and facilitating) solutions in a situation where there's not so much to be done, as Nature will have its way ultimately.

Yesterday ended up dark and drizzly. Last night we had a fire, which made me (all of us, actually) happy. Now the sun's out (although grey clouds populate the sky as well). If'n it's cold and grey later, we'll have another fire. If not, we won't need one. All's well (or at least feels better) w/warmth and light.

Taking steps (even baby ones) feels so much better than just being miserable. No giving up aloud! Hmm, I meant allowed, but'll keep the initial iteration as it's so true (and a decent reminder) that just talking/complaining - without coming up w/possible solutions - just ain't so useful.

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mlerules

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