Channeling Scarlett O'Hara
Jul. 20th, 2010 04:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesI would really like for someone to do for/to me what I've (apparently - so I've been told) done for others. But it may not even be an intentional thing/doing. In fact, it may well not be. Trying might even make it impossible (but mebbe not).
I'm bummed that I'm in a bit of a funk (actually that should be past tense, as I'm just now starting to come outta it, to rise above, to pull myself up as I type) rather than smiling gleefully in anticipation of the next week. Not that the funk had anything to do w/upcomings. In fact, mebbe I should revel in the funk as an experience of a pure In-the-Now moment (unaffected by near future goodness). Okay, I MUST be feeling better: I'm once again finding silver linings in dark clouds. Hee!
These words (from Shakespeare in Love) are becoming more 'n' more important to me: "It'll All Work Out. How? It's A Mystery!" Something something something about having faith...and realizing that having faith in myself matters lots.
There're shining examples all around me. I see 'em. I acknowledge 'em. Now, the hard part: to do it myself. Slowly, surely, taking baby-steps, making progress, not beating myself up too much when I backslide but instead pulling myself together and continuing to walk/bike/hike the good road, the healthy road, the positive road.
Why a road? Mebbe b'c movement matters. It's gonna happen anyway. IT = movement/change. Thus, why not work on taking control...and letting be what I cannot control...and knowing the difference. Ayup, I'm apparently now taking life advice from a Swedish proverb hanging on the wall of the downstairs bathroom in Big Bear. Well, enough good stuff's happened there, enough honesty and truth and good times have gone on there, so mebbe it's not that silly)
Take 2: Why a road? Mebbe b'c movement matters. It's gonna happen anyway. Well, 'til death do us part anyway. Resting's okay, but sloth's not. Hmm, not sure what the difference is. Likely one of degree. Or mebbe it's guilt talking...which I don't like.
Gonna crawl back in bed and see if'n I can get at least a few hours of sleep under my belt before o'morrow's Toad Rip.
I'm bummed that I'm in a bit of a funk (actually that should be past tense, as I'm just now starting to come outta it, to rise above, to pull myself up as I type) rather than smiling gleefully in anticipation of the next week. Not that the funk had anything to do w/upcomings. In fact, mebbe I should revel in the funk as an experience of a pure In-the-Now moment (unaffected by near future goodness). Okay, I MUST be feeling better: I'm once again finding silver linings in dark clouds. Hee!
These words (from Shakespeare in Love) are becoming more 'n' more important to me: "It'll All Work Out. How? It's A Mystery!" Something something something about having faith...and realizing that having faith in myself matters lots.
There're shining examples all around me. I see 'em. I acknowledge 'em. Now, the hard part: to do it myself. Slowly, surely, taking baby-steps, making progress, not beating myself up too much when I backslide but instead pulling myself together and continuing to walk/bike/hike the good road, the healthy road, the positive road.
Why a road? Mebbe b'c movement matters. It's gonna happen anyway. IT = movement/change. Thus, why not work on taking control...and letting be what I cannot control...and knowing the difference. Ayup, I'm apparently now taking life advice from a Swedish proverb hanging on the wall of the downstairs bathroom in Big Bear. Well, enough good stuff's happened there, enough honesty and truth and good times have gone on there, so mebbe it's not that silly)
Take 2: Why a road? Mebbe b'c movement matters. It's gonna happen anyway. Well, 'til death do us part anyway. Resting's okay, but sloth's not. Hmm, not sure what the difference is. Likely one of degree. Or mebbe it's guilt talking...which I don't like.
Gonna crawl back in bed and see if'n I can get at least a few hours of sleep under my belt before o'morrow's Toad Rip.
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 11:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 01:49 pm (UTC)You require a Sassy Gay Friend!
Date: 2010-07-20 02:41 pm (UTC)Re: You require a Sassy Gay Friend!
Date: 2010-07-26 02:35 am (UTC)Are you volunteering? ;-P
no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 02:39 am (UTC)As it happens, this past nearly-a-week camping on the Hoh river has been marvelous and'll help massively in getting/keeping me going in desired directions. :-)
no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 05:08 pm (UTC)Hope you got some sleep before toad ripping. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2010-07-26 02:42 am (UTC)Fark sleep...'twas a FAB weekend. Details to come (dildo pics).