If Only...

[mlerules]

Sometimes folks seem to think that If Only I had (insert whatever material possession or chunk of money), I'd be happy. (And hey, it may not hurt, but if'n that's the goal, it's quite possible that you're spending/losing out on emotional capital/sustenance needed to find/maintain happiness, with ends (possession/position X rather than happiness itself) getting lost/more distant then the means (perhaps working an insane schedule at a less-than-happy-making job).

Similarly, sometimes it seems as if folks say If Only thus-and-so loved me, I'd be happy, oft-times w/the logic being that thus-and-so is so great and if'n s/he loved me, it'd mean I'm as worthy and wonderful as I'd like to be. It's the validation more than anything else that seems to matter, or mebbe it's just the icing on the cake (as in having and eating 'em both).

And then my mind moves onto quality vs. quantity of r-ships. I like intimacy: opening myself up and having another open up and seeing what sorta trouble we can get into. Heh. Dunno why I put it that way, but I'm practicing Do Not Delete and it came out so I'll leave it be.

Oh, these're just the tips of icebergs of thoughts and feelings currently chugging along the Western corridors of the MLE...

Comments

[edwardmartiniii.livejournal.com]

I've found that people who dwell too long in the Imaginary Lands of What-If are usually not very happy in this land, and people who are not very happy in this land just aren't very happy in general.

Now, of course, there are obvious exceptions, such as an acquaintance I know who regularly wishes he'd taken the extra five minutes to put his bike gear on a couple years back. I think if your life has really gotten fucked up by a big mistake, you're allowed to spend a little more time there than other folks, but it should still be a supervised visit.

[dillenger69.livejournal.com]

Oddly enough, lately I've been thinking "if only I could detach myself from all this stuff, I'd be happier." Then I try to start getting rid of it and manage to justify keeping a good portion ... just in case. It's easy to rationalize getting rid of stuff, but hard to actually do.

[ignusfaatus.livejournal.com]

word!
lol.
heres a nifty url I got from clayshaper on my flist:
http://www.randomthink.net/misc/ebay/

i think it is kind of motivational to get rid of stuff

[dillenger69.livejournal.com]

Wow ... luckily I'm not that bad. I'm actually getting much better about throwing things out that I know I won't ever use. The only things I steadfastly refuse to get rid of are book. However, once both kids are grown and gone the books will be going too. The kids will get to keep what they want and some local used book store can pick through the rest. The collectible stuff will get auctioned if the kids don't want it.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

And sometimes our stuff contains/elicits memories (http://dresdencodak.com/cartoons/dc_021.htm), which makes it harder to leave it/them/carp behind...

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Oh, this quandary is one with which I'm quite familiar. Recently (as in the past few months) I've actually managed to get five (5) boxes of books outta the house (sold at Powell's or donated to whatever good cause'd take 'em). It felt SO good. My "just in case" rationalization breaks down if'n I cannot easily put my hand on the stuff I might need. If'n you're organizational scheme is solid and you're not contemplating a move any time soon, it's easier to hold onto stuff.

[vismaya-viewer.livejournal.com]

I like the thought of not being swayed from bliss by outside forces, that regardless of who I be or what I have, I am still centered and content in my universe.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

I like this ideal. :-)

[ignusfaatus.livejournal.com]

wait a minut::
if only i had a sunny day and it was 85 degrees and a bunch of friends were eating pasta salad with me !!

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Ah, and that would certainly bring about a spell of transitory happiness...and we can make it so later this year. But it wouldn't solve all your ills ('specially if'n the pasta salad's laced w/mayo and left out in the sun too long ;-)

[quetz.livejournal.com]

I'd settle for 74 degrees, and June's Potato Salad.

[serenfire.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing that; it fits nicely into my state of mind right now.

Cleaning, organizing, sifting... inside the home, out in the garden, inside my own head. :)

[ebony-sphynx.livejournal.com]

I try very hard to avoid winding up in that mindset...I think my worst case is usually when I start to daydream and think that if only I already had the B&B started and had gotten that far that things would make sense...which is foolish and is a good way to bring myself back to reality. Mind games are becoming my specialty...

mostly these days though, I keep thinking if only I had even better mental clarity I'd be better equipped to deal with (insert situation here). Working on that and viewing it as a worthwhile goal rather than idle wistfulness.

off to do some dishes.

[anansi133.livejournal.com]

Market researchers have figured out that any retail item has the maximum value to the consumer immediately before it it purchased. After that, it's "driven off the lot" and the value declines.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Ooooh, thanks for saying this, as it ties right in w/some of my recent thoughts 'bout how at times some folks seem to prefer Fantasies to Dreams, w/Fantasies being those pie-high imagination things which aren't likely to happen ('specially when one does nada to make it so) and Dreams as goals towards which one works w/actions and perhaps (gasp) even a plan of action. Perhaps there's a built-in knowledge/realization that achieving the goal would lessen its import/impact and it's really just having the fantasy that's enjoyable. A similar situation concerns those who enjoy the process and fact of seduction and conquest but once the object of attention says "yes" and/or "I love you," the excitement and thrill's over so attention shifts elsewhere.

[wildwoosi.livejournal.com]

Similar to the driving off the lot comment, usually once someone has the object of their desire, they immediately adopt another. Well, now if I only had