![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesI'm seeking a new paradigm. My usual r-ship mode doesn't quite seem appropriate, somehow. Or perhaps I'm second-guessing myself unnecessarily. Perhaps I should just go along as I would were I not reluctant to...to what, exactly?
Not easy figuring this out...it's why I'm babbling here, in hopes of hitting upon a good combo/solution/balance. Need to balance: connection/intertwining w/independence, heart/mind/soul-sharing w/WHAT? I want to share w/out giving up too much of myself. Sometimes this seems easier than others. The rooms're available for viewing, but please don't steal the knick-knacks. What about rearranging the furniture? I've been known to adjust too much to/for others. Chameleoning can be helpful, but it must be watched to make sure it's wise. Must keep track of what I want/need/desire as well as what I want for others. I matter. This sounds like such a simple thing, yet it can slip away if care's not taken. Thus I remind myself here and now of this fact.
...
Filling holes/gaps/needs.
...
Fark it. I'm gonna do what I usually do w/out worrying unduly much. I will keep an eye out for losing myself and haul myself back up by my britches if'n I start doling out too much of myself. So be it.
Not easy figuring this out...it's why I'm babbling here, in hopes of hitting upon a good combo/solution/balance. Need to balance: connection/intertwining w/independence, heart/mind/soul-sharing w/WHAT? I want to share w/out giving up too much of myself. Sometimes this seems easier than others. The rooms're available for viewing, but please don't steal the knick-knacks. What about rearranging the furniture? I've been known to adjust too much to/for others. Chameleoning can be helpful, but it must be watched to make sure it's wise. Must keep track of what I want/need/desire as well as what I want for others. I matter. This sounds like such a simple thing, yet it can slip away if care's not taken. Thus I remind myself here and now of this fact.
...
Filling holes/gaps/needs.
...
Fark it. I'm gonna do what I usually do w/out worrying unduly much. I will keep an eye out for losing myself and haul myself back up by my britches if'n I start doling out too much of myself. So be it.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-04-22 01:51 pm (UTC)I hate the balancing act of being part of a whole and trying to stay me. I lost myself for 10 years once and that is not going to happen again.