He Said She Said
May. 31st, 2005 09:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesMiscommunication's a b!tch. Sometimes it's really as if two people are on different planets...even as they're standing face-to-face. Makes me wonder whether my comm's okay. Sometimes I generalize. But I do try to make specifics clear.
Different viewpoints appears in these pages as an ongoing theme. Two (2) different people (or more) can take part in the same set of conversations, attend the same parties, go to the same places at the same times, yet, Rashamon-like, they come away with completely different conclusions/visions/versions of what they've experienced. Fascinating. From afar. When it's you involved, it can get frustrating as all get out.
*** As an aside: I just browsed through the mail from the past week. My father's received more mail than I have...and he's been dead for just 11 days shy of 3 years. Go figure.***
Do different people actually remember different events/bits from one common occurence? Do we each focus on different bits from the whole array that's available as input? Or is the issue more one of differing overall impressions, of widely and/or wildly different judgments made vis-a-vis the input rec'd? Diff importance applied to diff bits, based on whatEVER. Prolly good now and again to ID what's imp for yourself and compare w/those around you...at least those who matter in such a way that big diffs could be troublesome.
Along the lines of diff viewpoints I'm reminded of a recent comment wherein a friend noted that the past week and a half has flown by when for me it's seemed as if it's gone on for a long long time while the recent (per calendar) past (biggies: portfolio/program completion & the breakup w/D, sprinkled w/liberal doses of Faire) seems far far off in the distance/distant past. Perhaps it's that I've shifted gears...and am focussing more on what's what now and what's upcoming soon. Or mebbe not. But the geographic distancing (recent and upcoming travels There & Back Again) has made the pre-travel time recede for me...another life, another series of events, not the focus of the now. Not that this is diff for the one for whom (gr) time's speeding by. Don't quite know what I'm saying. 'Cept mebbe that diff folks do interpret things (like the quickness of the passage of time) diff'ly, although it may not really matter that the diffs exist. But if it does matter (say if'n one person were to think that marriage was discussed repeatedly and in the offing), then it matters a lot. In fact, I'm looking back now at a particularly bad drama-filled scene and remembering that 'twas characaterized by one person with a completely different take on things from anybody/everybody else, coupled with a complete lack of empathy or understanding or belief that more than one interpretation of events/life/reality were possible. Sometimes viewpoints can differ so widely and wildly that no meeting of the minds (a necessary condition for a meetings of the heart IMHO) can occur.
A related thought: it's possible to love someone yet not be able to get along w/them. Soundtrack shift: Fozzie Bear & Kermit singing 'bout You Can't Live With 'Em, You Can't Live Without 'Em (talking 'bout girlz).
I'm once again in transition. Love it here. At least for now...for a time. TBD. My sense of time's about to get quite warped...or at least it'll differ from many others', as I know from experience.
Am not currently obsessing. This is good. I like to have a focus. Currently I'm drifting, wandering, roaming, rambling, with no particular focus or aim or goal, other than to find/choose/stumble into/onto a focus/aim/goal/direction. Feeling like a jellie, going where the tide takes me...'cept I choose the ocean(s) in which to immerse myself. Many types of bail will work. I'd like to be bait. Well, something like that. I'd like to be desired...wanted. Guess it's not ME that's really desired/wanted, but the r-ship w/me, the connection(s) formed/forged/made. Is it the person one wants, or the r-ship w/the person? Back to the olde standby: does one love the person or the act/process of being in love?
Different viewpoints appears in these pages as an ongoing theme. Two (2) different people (or more) can take part in the same set of conversations, attend the same parties, go to the same places at the same times, yet, Rashamon-like, they come away with completely different conclusions/visions/versions of what they've experienced. Fascinating. From afar. When it's you involved, it can get frustrating as all get out.
*** As an aside: I just browsed through the mail from the past week. My father's received more mail than I have...and he's been dead for just 11 days shy of 3 years. Go figure.***
Do different people actually remember different events/bits from one common occurence? Do we each focus on different bits from the whole array that's available as input? Or is the issue more one of differing overall impressions, of widely and/or wildly different judgments made vis-a-vis the input rec'd? Diff importance applied to diff bits, based on whatEVER. Prolly good now and again to ID what's imp for yourself and compare w/those around you...at least those who matter in such a way that big diffs could be troublesome.
Along the lines of diff viewpoints I'm reminded of a recent comment wherein a friend noted that the past week and a half has flown by when for me it's seemed as if it's gone on for a long long time while the recent (per calendar) past (biggies: portfolio/program completion & the breakup w/D, sprinkled w/liberal doses of Faire) seems far far off in the distance/distant past. Perhaps it's that I've shifted gears...and am focussing more on what's what now and what's upcoming soon. Or mebbe not. But the geographic distancing (recent and upcoming travels There & Back Again) has made the pre-travel time recede for me...another life, another series of events, not the focus of the now. Not that this is diff for the one for whom (gr) time's speeding by. Don't quite know what I'm saying. 'Cept mebbe that diff folks do interpret things (like the quickness of the passage of time) diff'ly, although it may not really matter that the diffs exist. But if it does matter (say if'n one person were to think that marriage was discussed repeatedly and in the offing), then it matters a lot. In fact, I'm looking back now at a particularly bad drama-filled scene and remembering that 'twas characaterized by one person with a completely different take on things from anybody/everybody else, coupled with a complete lack of empathy or understanding or belief that more than one interpretation of events/life/reality were possible. Sometimes viewpoints can differ so widely and wildly that no meeting of the minds (a necessary condition for a meetings of the heart IMHO) can occur.
A related thought: it's possible to love someone yet not be able to get along w/them. Soundtrack shift: Fozzie Bear & Kermit singing 'bout You Can't Live With 'Em, You Can't Live Without 'Em (talking 'bout girlz).
I'm once again in transition. Love it here. At least for now...for a time. TBD. My sense of time's about to get quite warped...or at least it'll differ from many others', as I know from experience.
Am not currently obsessing. This is good. I like to have a focus. Currently I'm drifting, wandering, roaming, rambling, with no particular focus or aim or goal, other than to find/choose/stumble into/onto a focus/aim/goal/direction. Feeling like a jellie, going where the tide takes me...'cept I choose the ocean(s) in which to immerse myself. Many types of bail will work. I'd like to be bait. Well, something like that. I'd like to be desired...wanted. Guess it's not ME that's really desired/wanted, but the r-ship w/me, the connection(s) formed/forged/made. Is it the person one wants, or the r-ship w/the person? Back to the olde standby: does one love the person or the act/process of being in love?
