On Rituals and Their Importance

[mlerules]

Someone recently asked me what rituals were important to me. This triggered something... I understand the importance of ritual, of taking note of transitions, of confirming/affirming whatEVER's important/special/in need of confirmation/affirmation...yet I balk at using the term "ritual." As I balk at engaging in "ritual" on my own, although I've liked being part of ritual(s) designed/done by others. I prefer "tradition(s)" to ritual, prolly b'c of the latter's connotations of/connections w/organized religion.

But there's more here. Something else bugs me 'bout "ritual." Not easy to articulate, but here goes: if I get too used to something, to doing something special at a particular time or in a particular place or in a particular way, if this becomes meaningful to me, if it matters...then what happens when I canNOT do it...discordance, something goes missing. It's as if I don't want to start something that won't last. No. That's not quite right.

*takes a break as a huge wave of nausea rolls over me...gah...what was THAT all about?*

Okay. Full sentences ain't coming so it's gonna have to be phrases for now:

- don't wanna get too comfie b'c things shift
- wanna avoid w/a passion ritual as ritualistic and ultimately devoid of meaning and stuff being done for its own sake w/out the underlying meaning/passion
- I suppose intention's important...adding/making/creating my own meaning to whatever I do
- ritual as grounding?

Hmm. Checking LJ's a ritual. Ditto e-mail.

*ow...tummy...ow*

The turning on of the cat (light in my window) in the evening (and off again before bedtime) has become a ritual of sorts when I'm home, at least when LJ-less L reminds me.

One ritual I've engaged in whenever it's been relevant for the past quarter-century plus has been following 1annie1's lead by blasting "I'm Free" (by The Who, from Tommy) once I'm all done w/finals for a semester/quarter/term. "And freedom tastes / Of reality"

Going to RHPS as ritual.

Current one: whenever I drive by Alpacas of America on the way 'tween mi casa and Clan Sidhefire I call ebony_sphynx and leave her a short phone message, saying simply "alpaca," so she can track my comings and goings and imagine where I am then.

Ritualistic freedom. Is this an oxymoron? I'm thinking not, but parts of me argue/agree.

And as I reread what I wrote, this lines sticks out: "It's as if I don't want to start something that won't last." This corresponds well w/my initial life motto of Nothing Lasts Forever. What's shifted over the years (since I first came up w/this motto back as a teenager) has been the value judgment and how I deal w/this fact o' life. It's not bad/sad/horrid that nada lasts...it just is. And rather than choose not to engage b'c of fear of loss (which really I was unable to do so it's a damn good thing I've adjusted my attitude), I engage at/for the moment, fully aware that things shift 'n' flow 'n' change 'n' mutate...while also having hope and really, here's the crux of the matter: having FAITH that it'll work out okay/fine/well.

Wow. Can't quite fathom how a discussion of how much I dislike/suspect the term "ritual" (at least insofar as anything I "practice" repeatedly) ends up w/my affirmation of faith.

Must needs food now.

EDIT: Walking the fine line 'tween Rut and Rit...

Comments

[stacymckenna.livejournal.com]

Ritual is often used as a way for people to ground and reconnect with their faith. If one has a strong connection with their faith, ritual is less necessary. If your faith is strong, ritual can wind up being a ball and chain, hence the dislike. Your train of discussion surprises me not at all.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Wow. Hmm. 'Cept I cannot really fully articulate my "faith." Perhaps I need not. Perhaps like the dream(s) I cannot put into words yet seem to be living...

Thx for your perspective/thoughts, 'preciated.

[sheistheweather]

Would love to talk about this more in person. :)

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Well, methinks we'll have/make/take time for it before too long. See ya' o'morrow!

[twistedcat.livejournal.com]

i write a new ceremony or ritual for every high holy day and every new moon. it means more to me that way. once things become rote, they lose some of their meaning for me, because it's just habit or memorization.

for what it's worth, i don't know that i can fully articulate my faith either, and it's kinda what i do for a living....

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thx for responding. I was thinking of you whilst writing some of this, specifically of your advice concerning daily rituals...which I do still think's a fine idea, even if'n I really haven't consciously done anything 'bout it still/yet, other than thinking 'bout it now 'n' again. Hmm, procrastination rituals...

Good to know the inability to articulate faith is not wholly uncommon. :-)

[twistedcat.livejournal.com]

i do have stuff i do every day (although i tend to call it daily practice instead of ritual), but it's not exactly the same each day, nor do i think it should be. i write every morning to get the garbage out of my head and then recenter myself. there's a gratitude list.

...i also feed the cats and water the plants and check my email...

but daily practice, for me, is important because it gives me a foundation which can function as a safety net when shit gets difficult. i'm more focused on the days i do my daily practice. this does not mean i don't procrastinate or putter, but i feel less out-of-sorts.

i also notice that it's harder for me to do daily practice when i'm not home. which is annoying, because that's when stuff is mist likely to be difficult for me. working on that.

[vismaya-viewer.livejournal.com]

I have little rituals all day long, beginning with my morning coffee ritual. Intent most certainly is important but I think ritual is anything that brings you in the 'now' to focus on what 'is' since all is 'change and impermanence'; it's stopping for a moment to notice things before they change or, to set an intention of how you would like the change to manifest.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

ritual is anything that brings you in the 'now' to focus on what 'is' since all is 'change and impermanence'; it's stopping for a moment to notice things before they change or, to set an intention of how you would like the change to manifest.

Thx - I like this vision/view/perception/definition/what-have-you of ritual.

[sheistheweather]

I do too.

[jnanacandra.livejournal.com]

When I was first drawn to ceremonial magick, with its emphasis on ritual, I used it as a way to calm my inner skeptic. It's easier to make that voice of "what the hell are you doing?" quiet down if I'm doing something that many people have done before me.

As I've grown more experienced, ritual has become a support structure to let you go deeper into whatever it is your ritual is about. When I've done a given thing hundreds of times to the point where the words and actions are automatic, it lets my mind free to truly explore what lies underneath. As a result, I can do it for a while, and then when I've gotten what I need to out of it, leave it behind.

I used to wear a pendant every day, to the point where I felt naked and uncomfortable if I didn't have it on. I forcibly broke myself of that habit because I didn't want to be dependent on it, and now I can wear one sometimes for a specific purpose, and not suffer for the lack of it when I take it off.

But that's what works for me :)

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

I used to wear a pendant every day, to the point where I felt naked and uncomfortable if I didn't have it on. I forcibly broke myself of that habit because I didn't want to be dependent on it, and now I can wear one sometimes for a specific purpose, and not suffer for the lack of it when I take it off.

That's PRECISELY what I'm trying to avoid. It's the same reason when I worked and/or was in school I'd make a point of using different bathroom stalls and when I travel I note and try different routes so when something happens to upset the routine ('cause inevitably something WILL HAPPEN) I don't feel lost/cranky/uncomfie.

Hmm. Ritual as support structure to let me delve deeper...this rings bells for me.

words

[yourmuse.livejournal.com]

Ritual vs. habit vs. chore? Negative connotations of complacency?

Re: words

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Yup. I've gone off before on the fear of getting stuck in a rut...and the line 'tween Rut and Rit can be narrow.

[glitch25.livejournal.com]

*smiles* Makes a lot of sense to me. And in many ways, I can relate.

You know the answer

[ericgriffith.livejournal.com]

I love you and I want you to be happy. I have to tell you that these two lines have always stood out in your writing (although this is the first time you actually typed them).

"...I don't want to start something that won't last.."
"...life motto of Nothing Lasts Forever"

Now take a really deep breath. Come on, take it and hold it for a second (ok let it out).


Is it a motto of embrace or disconnect? Are you seizing the moment (which, of course, sounds hellaciously cool) or continually disconnecting so you wont be disappointed? People often react violently when truth interferes with their delusion.

In yoga I always tell my students that only they know the answer to the thing that is bothering them. If you take some time to close your eyes and breath (trying not to think about anything) the answer will be there. If you have the courage to face the truth then remember this: You have the power to change your life in anyway you see fit.