A Few Tidbits from Within
Sep. 23rd, 2007 10:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesI have coasters older than some of my friends. Finding myself pondering roles and goals (big Life-size qx). Somewhere between a leader and a follower lies the facilitator.
I feel sorely lacking in imagination. Do I need inspiration? Is it incumbent on me to find inspiration, to put myself into positions and locations and contexts where inspiration(s) will strike or dawn or gleam or glisten or grow in the loam? Of COURSE it is. Of course I must. It’s important to find/make life rich and full, but also to have quiet time to think, to process, to be w/out rushing 'round.
I still need to finish up getting my place in order. The next couple of weeks represents the best opportunity available to follow along w/Fall, to squirrel away some nuts so I've got 'em come Winter, to complete the comfication of mi casa for visitors and for moi-meme, to make this place MINE (even w/the constant low-level niggling of renting month-to-month exacerbated by lien letters arriving in the mail for the landladies). Okay. So, yeah...now it's starting to ghee: Settling in with the prospect of having to bail and move on later sucks. But that's where I'm at. One day I'd like to buy property. To do this I'll likely have to get a job...or share a place w/someone(s). Don't wanna get a job yet (don't wanna don't wanna don't wanna).
Some days I wanna chuck it all - I'm lying...I only mean sell off a mass of books...but maybe there're alternatives I haven't even considered. Of course there are. Many. Several, anyway.
On a mildly related note: Rather than, or along with, the question of "Who am I?," it's a different, albeit related, matter to consider "What categories of experience do I have under my belt?" I have a far better handle on the latter than the former. I don't really know who I am. I don't think I can really explain it...it's best learned by being 'round, by following along, by probing, by listening, by watching, by seeing, by experiencing.
That's how I approach people I want to get to know better. Watch, ask, listen. Stick around.
What matters most: appreciation and connection.
I feel sorely lacking in imagination. Do I need inspiration? Is it incumbent on me to find inspiration, to put myself into positions and locations and contexts where inspiration(s) will strike or dawn or gleam or glisten or grow in the loam? Of COURSE it is. Of course I must. It’s important to find/make life rich and full, but also to have quiet time to think, to process, to be w/out rushing 'round.
I still need to finish up getting my place in order. The next couple of weeks represents the best opportunity available to follow along w/Fall, to squirrel away some nuts so I've got 'em come Winter, to complete the comfication of mi casa for visitors and for moi-meme, to make this place MINE (even w/the constant low-level niggling of renting month-to-month exacerbated by lien letters arriving in the mail for the landladies). Okay. So, yeah...now it's starting to ghee: Settling in with the prospect of having to bail and move on later sucks. But that's where I'm at. One day I'd like to buy property. To do this I'll likely have to get a job...or share a place w/someone(s). Don't wanna get a job yet (don't wanna don't wanna don't wanna).
Some days I wanna chuck it all - I'm lying...I only mean sell off a mass of books...but maybe there're alternatives I haven't even considered. Of course there are. Many. Several, anyway.
On a mildly related note: Rather than, or along with, the question of "Who am I?," it's a different, albeit related, matter to consider "What categories of experience do I have under my belt?" I have a far better handle on the latter than the former. I don't really know who I am. I don't think I can really explain it...it's best learned by being 'round, by following along, by probing, by listening, by watching, by seeing, by experiencing.
That's how I approach people I want to get to know better. Watch, ask, listen. Stick around.
What matters most: appreciation and connection.
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no subject
Date: 2007-09-23 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-23 10:11 pm (UTC)Re: setting the goals and finding a way to make it work...yeah, I need to consider other possibilities besides the basics. I'm enough of a city-gal that I don't think I'd be happy far outside a city, and right now I'm preferring Portland, and prices ain't as happy-making nowadays as your more rural property was several years back, but I'll expand my vision and consider various alternatives and figure something out. It's not like I wanna rush into anything anyway. :-)