Running Its Course

[mlerules]

Just read a line about "friendship running its course." I don't think of f-ships as ending. What a horrid thought. I know things lay fallow for a while, but there's just gotta be something there, something rich in the soil, some seed, some spark (to swap metaphors), something that initially catalyzed the connection. How much time/energy's req'd for f-ship to last, to matter, to mean whatever 'tis we think it means? What's req'd (besides time 'n' energy)? Shared myth-making, experiences, creating memories for the future, building bedrock, putting in roots...my mind's spinning. I need food. And to finish packing...

Comments

[jimkeller.livejournal.com]

Remember that time as we perceive it is an illusion. In reality, time is a dimension of space, ever bit as real as length, width, and height. Therefore, everything that has ever been continues to be, but merely at a piont in time that we no longer perceive as "present." Therefore, once friendship has been, it always will be.

Thx for Thoughts

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Guess then what I'm desiring is continued manifestations of f-ship in what I perceive as time's progression. And where I s'pose I'm going w/this is trying to figure out what sorta manifestation will satisfy me (which is to say, my needs...for what I'm not quite sure: security's part of it). Connection's both a need and a satisfaction thereof and a manifestation of need-satisfying stuff.

Also, if someone declares "I am no longer your friend," the whole time as an illusion thing ain't so helpful emotionally. Luckily this doesn't happen to me much. *knocks wood*

[evilgerbil.livejournal.com]

I think friendships definitely do end. Sometimes they end with a bang. sometimes they just fade out as we grow farther and farther apart. At the same time.. have you ever read Slaughterhouse Five (if you haven't, you should, as there is a good discussion of the thing I am about to say)? I suppose I think that whatever moment containing me loving that person will always exist and that somewhere, in this universe or another, there will always be a moment where we are laughing and loving each other.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

That's a lovely thought/image - thx. I haven't read S-5 in decades...mebbe it's time for a revisit.

[quetz.livejournal.com]

That all depends upon the friendship.

[sidhefire.livejournal.com]

I think it depends on the friendship. I've had some that go through cycles.. sometimes they are strong & tight.. and at other times, we are each busy with our own lives. I've also had friendships implode to the point where there was so much pain involved in remaining friends that it was healthier to walk away.

dynamic experience

[rsheslin.livejournal.com]

(popped over from jimkeller's blog)

I've found that, for myself, friendships ebb and flow. I used to feel guilty about not putting more effort into maintaining friendships, but I've found that people/friends aren't really meant to be Kept. The obligation I felt towards Staying In Touch ended up somehow tainting the connection, whereas if I stay open and appreciate the comings and goings as part of Life, it's a lot more fun for everyone. But I still like sending out annual Christmas cards (although I seem to only get to half my list each year.)

Re: dynamic experience

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

This makes sense...thx...thoughts appreciated. :-)