Outside Myself
May. 24th, 2006 11:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesSo I'm feeling something I'm not...pleased/happy/proud of/with...but rather than either spiral into it or run screaming from it or worry about it horrendously, I'm stepping back a moment and kicking (back) into analysis mode, 'cause this does seem to work better when confronted w/an emotional set I'm displeased with rather than giving in to it wholehearedly...later may try to see whether this is wise/good...for now I'd rather be dispassionate than passionately un-whatEVER. The "un-" refers to negatively emotionally charged, although I guess there's an argument for - damn this can be hard/tricky/difficult - feeling the feeling w/out judging it as bad/negative. So that's what I'm shooting for now, aiming for, hopefully not falling horribly far from the mark:
I'm feeling certain feelings which I normally call Q, which I don't generally like. Mebbe rather than immediately try to stop 'em, to subsume 'em, to worry 'bout 'em, mebbe I should not label 'em as such (as Q) but instead look at what they're telling me. What's triggered 'em? Okay, I think I have a handle on the trigger (WHAT), but not so much on the WHY...or whether the why's a necessary pathway to take. Can it be routed elsewhere? Can I learn something from this and figure out another way of dealing with whatever issues are arising? Yeah yeah, I noted above/below/earlier this eve that I shouldn't think too much when exhausted. So instead I'm acknowledging how I'm feeling (Q) and o'morrow will work on some processing...hell, truth be told I'm likely to be up for some time on & off going over things & stuff tonight...hoping for productivity rather than spinning though. Sigh. Several steps forward followed by several steps minus 1 back. Still, progress in the right direction... And rather than bash myself for backsliding, I'm being more realistic and realizing that it ain't all gonna be magically better and right at once. Baby steps applies to this...as to so many things these daze (and always).
More to come: musings on how masks can afix semi-permanently...for better or worse...
I'm feeling certain feelings which I normally call Q, which I don't generally like. Mebbe rather than immediately try to stop 'em, to subsume 'em, to worry 'bout 'em, mebbe I should not label 'em as such (as Q) but instead look at what they're telling me. What's triggered 'em? Okay, I think I have a handle on the trigger (WHAT), but not so much on the WHY...or whether the why's a necessary pathway to take. Can it be routed elsewhere? Can I learn something from this and figure out another way of dealing with whatever issues are arising? Yeah yeah, I noted above/below/earlier this eve that I shouldn't think too much when exhausted. So instead I'm acknowledging how I'm feeling (Q) and o'morrow will work on some processing...hell, truth be told I'm likely to be up for some time on & off going over things & stuff tonight...hoping for productivity rather than spinning though. Sigh. Several steps forward followed by several steps minus 1 back. Still, progress in the right direction... And rather than bash myself for backsliding, I'm being more realistic and realizing that it ain't all gonna be magically better and right at once. Baby steps applies to this...as to so many things these daze (and always).
More to come: musings on how masks can afix semi-permanently...for better or worse...
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thoughts and tools.:)
Date: 2006-05-25 09:30 pm (UTC)lack of sleep,
lack of protein,
Alcohol.
Keeping emotions from toppling over into the drama zone is more difficult when any one or more of those things are present in one's life. Its one of the guidelines we use here at
tools to keep cool with ..:)
Indigo
Re: thoughts and tools.:)
Date: 2006-05-25 09:38 pm (UTC)Re: thoughts and tools.:)
Date: 2006-05-25 09:39 pm (UTC)