Coyote Is My Casting Director
Nov. 20th, 2005 02:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesI enjoy laying bare my thoughts and feelings. Only a very small percentage of the noise ever really gets out. It’s a melodious noise to some. To me.
Emily’s Not Lazy. She just enjoys doing nothing.
I’ve decided I want to skip the next few months. I want to time travel to the Spring. I want to enjoy the view from there. Nope. I want to be here and now and enjoy it. Want to do it all. But not later, now. Repeat: Patience is a virtue. Must remember this one. So many rules and guidelines seem arbitrary and flexible.
Comfort and ease. Some WASPishness kicking in: can’t really enjoy life (eat out more often). The hell I can’t. I do and I will. Glad that’s cleared up.
I relish being at ease. I’m not sure how good I am at playing stringed instruments. I play nothing. But that’s not quite right. I’m just not sure what my instruments are. I might direct. Isn’t this a bit of what we all want? To direct our lives as we see fit. Casting can get very tricky. Coyote’s the casting director of my life.
Sometimes I think I’m casting. Casting a line. Luring. Is it seduction if there’s no ultimate goal? Fishing: deep stream versus fly fishing. Experience enriches life. I’m not sure whether it’s fair to say I’m high maintenance. I do have high nourishment requirements. Enriched life only, if you please. Fairly no nonsense as well. I like silliness and absurdity, but not nonsense. Maybe I’m wrong. Will think on it some.
The quality of one’s life can be enhanced by the quality of one’s light. Some thoughts I always go back to (like some music):
“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” - Edith Wharton
“There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.” – Bertrand Russell
“For in what does civilization actually consist, whatever the place or the period? In not following blindly everything that attracts, in not reacting mechanistically against anything that repels. Civilization arrived to complicate the issues and to check these impulses.” - Roger-Pol Droit (2002)
Need to pull my nets in a bit. Quite widesprung right now. Refocus of energies needed.
***
Want to know more about the background and history of the criminal action of alienation of affection. Hell. Once upon a time I studied this, perhaps for a time knew it, but now it’s lost in the recesses of my mind in time. My mind’s a sieve. Still, when I get it primed, things’ll come back. It’ll get easier. … I’m here for me and nobody else. Not primarily anyway. I’m my own primary. What an incredibly strange idea. Will work on coming around this mountain as it comes. (As it comes.) Sang this aloud a few days ago. I LOVE SINGING ALOUD. I’m horrid at it, really really bad. And I have SUCH a good time doing it. At one point yesterday coming back from D-land, all pretty exhausted, all off in our own little worlds, a song came on…and we end up all singing along to it. I love these moments in my life: spontaneous laughter and/or song. Let the sun shine in. Shine on your crazy diamond. Rick Rubens (sp) is producing the next Neil Diamond record.
Deadlines and due dates. I have remarkably few these days, which I like very very much. Slow down. Breathe deeply. Phew…
Emily’s Not Lazy. She just enjoys doing nothing.
I’ve decided I want to skip the next few months. I want to time travel to the Spring. I want to enjoy the view from there. Nope. I want to be here and now and enjoy it. Want to do it all. But not later, now. Repeat: Patience is a virtue. Must remember this one. So many rules and guidelines seem arbitrary and flexible.
Comfort and ease. Some WASPishness kicking in: can’t really enjoy life (eat out more often). The hell I can’t. I do and I will. Glad that’s cleared up.
I relish being at ease. I’m not sure how good I am at playing stringed instruments. I play nothing. But that’s not quite right. I’m just not sure what my instruments are. I might direct. Isn’t this a bit of what we all want? To direct our lives as we see fit. Casting can get very tricky. Coyote’s the casting director of my life.
Sometimes I think I’m casting. Casting a line. Luring. Is it seduction if there’s no ultimate goal? Fishing: deep stream versus fly fishing. Experience enriches life. I’m not sure whether it’s fair to say I’m high maintenance. I do have high nourishment requirements. Enriched life only, if you please. Fairly no nonsense as well. I like silliness and absurdity, but not nonsense. Maybe I’m wrong. Will think on it some.
The quality of one’s life can be enhanced by the quality of one’s light. Some thoughts I always go back to (like some music):
“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” - Edith Wharton
“There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.” – Bertrand Russell
“For in what does civilization actually consist, whatever the place or the period? In not following blindly everything that attracts, in not reacting mechanistically against anything that repels. Civilization arrived to complicate the issues and to check these impulses.” - Roger-Pol Droit (2002)
Need to pull my nets in a bit. Quite widesprung right now. Refocus of energies needed.
***
Want to know more about the background and history of the criminal action of alienation of affection. Hell. Once upon a time I studied this, perhaps for a time knew it, but now it’s lost in the recesses of my mind in time. My mind’s a sieve. Still, when I get it primed, things’ll come back. It’ll get easier. … I’m here for me and nobody else. Not primarily anyway. I’m my own primary. What an incredibly strange idea. Will work on coming around this mountain as it comes. (As it comes.) Sang this aloud a few days ago. I LOVE SINGING ALOUD. I’m horrid at it, really really bad. And I have SUCH a good time doing it. At one point yesterday coming back from D-land, all pretty exhausted, all off in our own little worlds, a song came on…and we end up all singing along to it. I love these moments in my life: spontaneous laughter and/or song. Let the sun shine in. Shine on your crazy diamond. Rick Rubens (sp) is producing the next Neil Diamond record.
Deadlines and due dates. I have remarkably few these days, which I like very very much. Slow down. Breathe deeply. Phew…
