Drama-Free Zone
Sep. 26th, 2005 11:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesHave spent some time this morn working stuff through in my head and on virtual paper. I find it oh-so-helpful to disgorge the contents of my mental gullet onto the page where I can then take time to poke through the muck and spot the particularly virulent sore spots. I'm doing my darndest not to become a Drama-Queen. Have decided that the main ingrediant of Drama (often) is Making Mountains Out of Molehills....often for the if-not-express then at least highly suspect purpose of garnering more than one's fair share of attention (time & energy). I will NOT play this farking game! Even though by not "playing this game" I may be violating some basic rules I've found myself living (and perhaps swearing) by...which ain't necessarily wise. It's a qx of how much I choose to ...what? give of myself, let known 'bout myself, open myself up, share of myself...or make myself available w/out hopes of being availed of.
I'm finding the need to fashion new modes, to structure a new form of r-ship, to...something...make it work as well as it possibly can.
I know I worry too much about things & stuff. It's part of what I do. Often I do it quietly, on my own, sharing it only w/a select few (diff folks for diff bits on diff occasions). It's as if I'm afraid that if'n I let too much outta the bag that others will go running through the streets...or wander back into their holes in pursuit of other easier (quieter) prey. It's slightly embarassing, like airing dirty laundry in public. Which is why I'm now airing the clean lingerie - I've come to some conclusions. Ah, hell. No I really haven't. But I think I've come up w/ways of dealing with things & stuff that'll make me not go too wacky. Key: flexibility of connections...thinking rubber tie-downs. Separation of church & state. MUST KEEP BUSY. Must also not forget to stop and set a spell now and again to make sure I'm heading...in good directions, making sure to stop spirals before they consume me (time & energy-wise) yet figure out what triggered 'em and hopefully what the root cause is and then root it out and stomp on it and char it w/the clear bright all-consuming light of Reason. (Yeah, if only 'twere that easy!)
Feeling a bit more at ease now, a bit more able to get on with the day w/out overmuch spinning.
I'm finding the need to fashion new modes, to structure a new form of r-ship, to...something...make it work as well as it possibly can.
I know I worry too much about things & stuff. It's part of what I do. Often I do it quietly, on my own, sharing it only w/a select few (diff folks for diff bits on diff occasions). It's as if I'm afraid that if'n I let too much outta the bag that others will go running through the streets...or wander back into their holes in pursuit of other easier (quieter) prey. It's slightly embarassing, like airing dirty laundry in public. Which is why I'm now airing the clean lingerie - I've come to some conclusions. Ah, hell. No I really haven't. But I think I've come up w/ways of dealing with things & stuff that'll make me not go too wacky. Key: flexibility of connections...thinking rubber tie-downs. Separation of church & state. MUST KEEP BUSY. Must also not forget to stop and set a spell now and again to make sure I'm heading...in good directions, making sure to stop spirals before they consume me (time & energy-wise) yet figure out what triggered 'em and hopefully what the root cause is and then root it out and stomp on it and char it w/the clear bright all-consuming light of Reason. (Yeah, if only 'twere that easy!)
Feeling a bit more at ease now, a bit more able to get on with the day w/out overmuch spinning.
