Today: Meh to Bleh
Apr. 15th, 2020 12:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesWell, shoot. Today's overcast weather's matching my mood pretty well. My initial Meh has shifted decidely to Bleh. (Cannot remember whether I've written here about a recent realization of how much of my life revolves around Antici-SAY IT-pation.) I'd finally reached a point where I had a bit of a routine, something to look forward to, and I was very much looking forward to this morning's Mt Tabor walkies.
When I woke up, however, it became clear that my ankles didn't approve of this plan. Not just the right one either (recently re-flaring tendonitus), but now the left one's cranky as well. And so I cannot do something that's been keeping me sane. No getting out into fresh air w/flowers and squirrels and views and movement and novelty (exploring new paths, seeing stages of blossoming and blooming). And apparently these're the straws that've broken this metaphorical camel's back.
Right now I'm on edge. Any little thing can set me off. (Several already have.) And I hate being this way. On the verge of tears right now. It might be better to milk them, to go full torrent and cry and Cry and CRY and get it over and done with for the moment...or not.
Sigh. Okay. Here's one of the benefits of LJ/DW (whereever I am). As I take the time to type this out, I feel a big soothed. Even now I feel cracks in the Sad, as bits of my usual sunny self stir and start shining through.
So I'll continue... Yeah, it's quite possible that the weight I've put back on over the past few months has contributed to the ankle stress. Main coping mechanisms've included walking, eating, blasting music, and communicating w/folks in non-IRL ways. Guess I'll crank the music up a bit more now.
BUT: One of today's straws involved starting to deal w/Spotify. After researching it and learning how "easy" it is, I've had a Dickens of a time logging on after downloading it to my laptop, even though I had no problem getting in via the website on my laptop. This kinda thing has happened a LOT recently, adding to annoyance-levels. Sometimes a program'll be wonky if I want to use it on two devices (iphone & Macbook). I've figured it out w/Discord, but'm sticking to laptop only for Zoom. Dunno yet what I'll do w/Spotify. Just on Macbook alone via web v downloaded thingie for now.
When I woke up, however, it became clear that my ankles didn't approve of this plan. Not just the right one either (recently re-flaring tendonitus), but now the left one's cranky as well. And so I cannot do something that's been keeping me sane. No getting out into fresh air w/flowers and squirrels and views and movement and novelty (exploring new paths, seeing stages of blossoming and blooming). And apparently these're the straws that've broken this metaphorical camel's back.
Right now I'm on edge. Any little thing can set me off. (Several already have.) And I hate being this way. On the verge of tears right now. It might be better to milk them, to go full torrent and cry and Cry and CRY and get it over and done with for the moment...or not.
Sigh. Okay. Here's one of the benefits of LJ/DW (whereever I am). As I take the time to type this out, I feel a big soothed. Even now I feel cracks in the Sad, as bits of my usual sunny self stir and start shining through.
So I'll continue... Yeah, it's quite possible that the weight I've put back on over the past few months has contributed to the ankle stress. Main coping mechanisms've included walking, eating, blasting music, and communicating w/folks in non-IRL ways. Guess I'll crank the music up a bit more now.
BUT: One of today's straws involved starting to deal w/Spotify. After researching it and learning how "easy" it is, I've had a Dickens of a time logging on after downloading it to my laptop, even though I had no problem getting in via the website on my laptop. This kinda thing has happened a LOT recently, adding to annoyance-levels. Sometimes a program'll be wonky if I want to use it on two devices (iphone & Macbook). I've figured it out w/Discord, but'm sticking to laptop only for Zoom. Dunno yet what I'll do w/Spotify. Just on Macbook alone via web v downloaded thingie for now.
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Date: 2020-04-15 08:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-04-19 06:39 am (UTC)