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mlerulesAnother ask, and ye shall receive situation apparently, even if'n the mode o' delivery and/or manifestation ain't always clear 'til it's right there in front of me. 'Tis a worthwhile focus, however, possibly one of the most worthwhile. NOT planning on making this a hobby, mind you, but every bit as intimate as helping someone pack 'n' move (okay, way more so, actually).
Maintaining balance and caring for myself will matter muchly. Support of friends'll be helpful as well. I'll be reaching out individually at needed, as well as likely posting some things 'n' stuff here, too. Dunno how cryptic I'll be or how open. Lots 'n' lotsa stuff's likely gonna come outta this.
Realizing that part of whassup right now is a pattern my mom first pointed out to me: when I start on something new, down a new path, doing something important I haven't done before, I tend to begin by thinking/feeling/worrying/saying "Oh, dear, I cannot possibly do this!" 'Cept this pattern's changed somewhat over time. Shortly after I start worrying that I won't be good enough - or even say the phrase above, either aloud or in my mind, I then realize that the pattern's beginning, acknowledge it (as I'm doing here/now), then skip ahead to preparing for it as best as I can. IT = whatever 'tis I'm about to face/do that's challenging.
And so I'm doing this now. I feel fear. I don't know how I'll react, how this'll affect me, what difference(s) it'll make in/to me. But it's important to do. It matters. And doing something that matters matters to me. New Life Goal: Practice/Achieve/Maintain State of Grace Under Pressure.
I can feel my focus intensifying. And I know from experience what time-frame/time-period works well for me focus-wise (think academic schedule). Having an end-date in sight helps me massively, as it's what I'm used to (and've done well at/with).
Maintaining balance and caring for myself will matter muchly. Support of friends'll be helpful as well. I'll be reaching out individually at needed, as well as likely posting some things 'n' stuff here, too. Dunno how cryptic I'll be or how open. Lots 'n' lotsa stuff's likely gonna come outta this.
Realizing that part of whassup right now is a pattern my mom first pointed out to me: when I start on something new, down a new path, doing something important I haven't done before, I tend to begin by thinking/feeling/worrying/saying "Oh, dear, I cannot possibly do this!" 'Cept this pattern's changed somewhat over time. Shortly after I start worrying that I won't be good enough - or even say the phrase above, either aloud or in my mind, I then realize that the pattern's beginning, acknowledge it (as I'm doing here/now), then skip ahead to preparing for it as best as I can. IT = whatever 'tis I'm about to face/do that's challenging.
And so I'm doing this now. I feel fear. I don't know how I'll react, how this'll affect me, what difference(s) it'll make in/to me. But it's important to do. It matters. And doing something that matters matters to me. New Life Goal: Practice/Achieve/Maintain State of Grace Under Pressure.
I can feel my focus intensifying. And I know from experience what time-frame/time-period works well for me focus-wise (think academic schedule). Having an end-date in sight helps me massively, as it's what I'm used to (and've done well at/with).
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Date: 2011-04-26 08:39 pm (UTC)I work very hard, when surgery is afoot, to first do my research and make sure I know what I am getting into logically- risk management. Know the facts- know the doctors, know the risks. ...but then comes that Graceful thing.
It is so very hard to look into a stranger's face and say 'he is going to have my life in his hands, and it will be he who makes certain I feel no pain, do not wake up at a poor time, and DO wake when they are done.' ...and still be graceful, still be accepting, still be trusting.
I think it's the same when you have all sorts of things around you changing. You do the logical part first, but then you have to find balance too... you don't want to work yourself up or shoot yourself down (or in the foot!) and make it harder... on you or those around you- but you DO wanna get through it!
This is a topic I would love to have a coffee-house-discussion on! Graceful change is hard!
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Date: 2011-04-27 06:07 am (UTC)