mlerules

> 1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

> 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

> 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

> 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

> 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

> 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

> 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

> 8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

> 9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

> 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

> 11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

> 12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

> 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

> 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.'

> 15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

> 16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

> 17. A backward poet writes inverse.

> 18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

> 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

> 20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

> 21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

> 22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

> 23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

> 24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

> 25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

> 26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.