Best of Times, Worst of Times

[mlerules]

Now it's far more the former (thank goodness), w/pudding made, set, and chillin' and t'other picnicky stuff ready to go as well. A couple nights ago 'twas the latter. Rhoda was firmly in the driver's seat...and boy was she PO'd...swerving all over the farking road, chucking Malatov cocktails out the windows, spiraling and veering and being exceptionally (and unnecessarily...well - DUH!) lame and self-loathing.

Funny thing was though, as soon as I identified that 'twas Rhoda doing her thang, I felt a whole lot better. Somehow I could - and did - divorce myself from her/it/the feelings. Yeah, I compartmentalized. And it was good. I stepped back and realized that something was up - what I felt was unrelated to reality/facts. Those feelings were coming outta, well, it ain't clear which poison well the nonsense was drawing up from, but I realized 'twas bad and unhealthy and unwise and unnecessary - and I was able to get beyond/over it.

Earlier this evening I noticed/realized/remembered that letting myself get too hungry and/or tired will often lead to lowness, so I'm gonna try hard not to let this happen.

Volatility's up. Noting it. Dealing w/it.

Overall: good. Two thumbs up. Fingers waggling. Kittenhead Havana clustering close. Sleep beckoning. We shall see if'n the large pot o' chai I had w/dinner will interfere w/sleepy-byness. Considering how I'm feeling right now, I think NOT. And if so, I'll draw a nice hot bath and read s'more. Getting close to the end of The Big Sky. Soon(ish) I'll re-read The Way West.

Comments

i wanna play the fiction too

[ignusfaatus.livejournal.com]

Sometimes Rhoda wants to protect someone fragile, maybe a child or a puppy. It's tempting to yell, "fuk ya Rhoda!" , pouring her molotav as she chucks the last one out her car window. Sometimes Rhoda feels like natural consequences.
But ya know then you remember the BKS Iyengar you read... and, even tough it defies logic, you might want to resisit the urge to take responsibility for a child's success or pain. Fragile things get hurt in this world and your supposed to be cool with that.
BKS Iyengar would be proud.
Everyone's got their reasons that seemed pretty good at the time.

then she studied her dumb database book and went to bed.
The End

[ebony-sphynx.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that recognizing Rhoda's influence helps you. I had the same thing with Susan. Once I'd given her a name and had figured out which character traits were hers I could usually get to a place of relative calm and emotional health. Replenishing stores of tea supplies soon and then sending you my Susan-tea, of which I had some just now actually. Loving you.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thank you oh-so-much for your words, your kindness, your helping me figure stuff like this out and being supportive as I thrash about...and for tea-glorious stress-reduction tea! *love*

Oh, and the picnic and garden outing is at Noon TODAY! :-) I think I'm finally gonna take my Dude Claud(e) to the Japanese Gardens here. I keep forgetting and he's getting a tad cranky 'bout it.

Have fun back at H-ton (when you get there), and ditto at the arboretum. Ya' know what, I've NEVER been to the latter. (I know, WTF?! ;-)