They're conflicting. No, they're examples of life's much needed balance. What I'm not sure about is which draws me more and whether I'm getting enough of each in, b'c it's feeling as if this isn't the case. Something's missing. Quiet time. I'm here now. It's available. I've been taking it recently, too. Okay. I shall not feel guilty about it. I'm making HUGE progress now. I HATE DOING THIS STUFF.
*breathes* Okay. Here's how it's gonna be okay. I'm going to go out in a bit for walkies. I'll walk over to get my brows waxed (for the second time ever), then meander down to the landladies house to deliver the rent check. I'll stroll along different streets, getting to know my neighborhood even better, b'c I'm not ready to leave here...and I'm not on the verge of it even. Yes. This thought does freak me out/concern/bother me now and again.
I'm going to create stability and put down roots. Here & There. Hive & CopperMoon. Not to mention various places in between. This whole community-creation thingie's incredibly cool. The time comes, however, when I must set a spell, take time for me, sit still, watch the world turn, hike, walk, read, garden, lose myself in what I'm doing. Not sure I can explain what I mean, what I feel, what I want.
Yet I NEED to complete what I've begun. The boxes/books must go. There're boxes to go to GoodWill down in the basement as well. Huge candy apple red buttons exist on the topic of not completing what I've begun. Ah. That's why I'm feeling all stressed out. Solution: do what I've set out to do, do it quickly, get it done. Don't visualize it, DO it then turn around and look at it. 'Cause damn will it feel good once it's done.
*breathes* Okay. Here's how it's gonna be okay. I'm going to go out in a bit for walkies. I'll walk over to get my brows waxed (for the second time ever), then meander down to the landladies house to deliver the rent check. I'll stroll along different streets, getting to know my neighborhood even better, b'c I'm not ready to leave here...and I'm not on the verge of it even. Yes. This thought does freak me out/concern/bother me now and again.
I'm going to create stability and put down roots. Here & There. Hive & CopperMoon. Not to mention various places in between. This whole community-creation thingie's incredibly cool. The time comes, however, when I must set a spell, take time for me, sit still, watch the world turn, hike, walk, read, garden, lose myself in what I'm doing. Not sure I can explain what I mean, what I feel, what I want.
Yet I NEED to complete what I've begun. The boxes/books must go. There're boxes to go to GoodWill down in the basement as well. Huge candy apple red buttons exist on the topic of not completing what I've begun. Ah. That's why I'm feeling all stressed out. Solution: do what I've set out to do, do it quickly, get it done. Don't visualize it, DO it then turn around and look at it. 'Cause damn will it feel good once it's done.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-01 09:15 pm (UTC)It sounds like you know yourself and where you need to go. If it helps any, I'm much the same way.
no subject
Date: 2008-05-02 12:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-01 09:17 pm (UTC)I find that once I start purging that I become better at it. make smarter choices, do it faster.
I have been purging my home of late. Just because it makes me feel free.
my only advice is to give the land lady the check before you get your brows waxed. lol. Because you might look like you got clocked accross the head. *ducks*
no subject
Date: 2008-05-02 04:04 am (UTC)I know about purging....sigh. I am actually doing mine over the phone. Another Library is being sold, will some of it...that doesnt get pieced up to my Girls. So far for every box we keep 4 are going into the Garage Sale....sigh. Little bits of my life scattered over my daughters houses, and selling the rest of the bits....Again.
It scares me to buy anything...unless I really need it anymore.
sorry seems I have issues about this too...LOL, I didnt expect this to turn into a pitty party.
More HUGs.... But we have Fabric and that makes everything ok.
Have a good relax
no subject
Date: 2008-05-02 01:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-05-03 05:27 pm (UTC)