![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesNot just the Mutual Admiration Society...Inspiration needed. Desire desired. Needfulness not req'd, prolly not wise either. Want not need. Balancing gleefulness/bouncing/extreme joy w/calm, peace of mind, serenity. Bliss admired & desired. Wanna be special. Wanna be #1. Doesn't need to be w/a bullet.
It's nice to build bridges. It's cool to be a bridge. But I'd like to cross over and travel on some bridges myself. I'd like to meet other architects/engineers/designers who'd like to build bridges for me, rope bridges, pontoon bridges, high bridges over dangerous waters w/alligators snapping below and tigers biting from the edges near the top...and a helicopter come to rescue me, although I'd prefer it a winged man, furry & strong, to swoop me up in his arms, carry me away to safety...to a secret garden, with a pathway/passageway back to town, back to the city, through the sewers probably (unused and/or ancient ones preferably so they don't stink).
Multidimensional shambling's possible: physical versus emotional versus spiritual (whatever the heck that last one means). Hatching grand plans, devising grand schemes, architect versus engineer. My forte's no longer in the details. Dunno where 'tis, if anywhere. Dunno if'n I can put my mind to something and get it done b'c it's difficult to put my mind to something. Sounds sorta crazy, b'c I did put my mind to something (this school thingie, like the last one, and the one before that), yet now it feels as if it's all for naught. The thought of working at what I've spent so much time on (and a fair amount of energy at) doesn't really appeal. Perhaps in part b'c I'm not sure it'll be worth it...that the time/effort/time required to do it well/right will be worth it...or that I can't actually do it well/right b'c I lack the confidence/ability. Just b'c They say I'm qualified doesn't mean squat. Well, mebbe squat, but that's only BS, not necessarily what's req'd to do it well and/or right.
Wanna run. Wanna hide. Wanna bury my head in the sand. Wanna go to sleep now and it'll be better when I awake. Which it will of course be, as I'm just exhausted now.
It's nice to build bridges. It's cool to be a bridge. But I'd like to cross over and travel on some bridges myself. I'd like to meet other architects/engineers/designers who'd like to build bridges for me, rope bridges, pontoon bridges, high bridges over dangerous waters w/alligators snapping below and tigers biting from the edges near the top...and a helicopter come to rescue me, although I'd prefer it a winged man, furry & strong, to swoop me up in his arms, carry me away to safety...to a secret garden, with a pathway/passageway back to town, back to the city, through the sewers probably (unused and/or ancient ones preferably so they don't stink).
Multidimensional shambling's possible: physical versus emotional versus spiritual (whatever the heck that last one means). Hatching grand plans, devising grand schemes, architect versus engineer. My forte's no longer in the details. Dunno where 'tis, if anywhere. Dunno if'n I can put my mind to something and get it done b'c it's difficult to put my mind to something. Sounds sorta crazy, b'c I did put my mind to something (this school thingie, like the last one, and the one before that), yet now it feels as if it's all for naught. The thought of working at what I've spent so much time on (and a fair amount of energy at) doesn't really appeal. Perhaps in part b'c I'm not sure it'll be worth it...that the time/effort/time required to do it well/right will be worth it...or that I can't actually do it well/right b'c I lack the confidence/ability. Just b'c They say I'm qualified doesn't mean squat. Well, mebbe squat, but that's only BS, not necessarily what's req'd to do it well and/or right.
Wanna run. Wanna hide. Wanna bury my head in the sand. Wanna go to sleep now and it'll be better when I awake. Which it will of course be, as I'm just exhausted now.
