Deferring Gratification

[mlerules]

It's been nearly a year I've been here. I haven't done what I'd hoped to do in this time/this Winter, in large part b'c I've been gone and doing so many other things elsewhere. Now it's time to prioritize myself and what I need to do here. To this end, well I'm not quite sure how it's gonna look, but I'm vowing not to over-extend myself in the next couple/few months.

Not that I'm gonna give up completely on socializing or adventuring, but I'm gonna be staying closer to home (South/PDX)...somehow...argh. Even as I write this I start hearing my mind/heart saying "but but but what about..." A firm hand's needed. Overcoming the fear of "but if'n I'm not around folks'll forget about me and connections'll fray and others'll fill the vacuum and and" ain't gonna be easy.

Key may be to have assurance/knowledge/belief that we've laid a firm base which'll stand the test of time/distance. In fact, it might be a good test to have to deal w/this. If'n r-ships cannot stand such a test, then they're not meant to be...at least not in that configuration, whichever configuration "that" happens to be.

Feeling like hibernating a bit. I'm here and'll likely respond to pokes and/or requests for attention, but I'm feeling a tad inner-directed and locally-focussed right now. Yeah, all subject to change at a moment's notice (or w/no notice whatsoever). How does this internal garden grow? Heck if I know. It's a bit of what I'm pondering on. One thing I've noticed - perhaps a result of living in basically seasonless SoCal for so long - is that my hibernation/growth cycles don't necessarily match the seasons or anything else particularly. Or mebbe 'tis truly time for Spring Cleaning (inside/internally and out/locally) and that's what I'm gearing up for...dunno.

March is half-over and a tad crowded already, although I will take time to start dealing w/all this. April's chock full of fun stuff and I'm very much looking forward to it. So May will be mostly for dealing w/stuff and where I need to make sure I don't overbook myself. Much the same goes for June, which isn't too difficult as I wanna keep it fairly open for bridal stuff for nightrythm's wedding in July.

Goals:
- go through piles of paperwork and deal w/it all (chuck or file)
- go through all the boxes in the basement, GoodWill what's needed, organize the rest (camping stuff, party stuff, &c.)
- go through all the boxes in the attic, deal w/crap, organize/chuck/toss
- update photo albums
- cull library some

Big Question:
How much (and what sort of) time/energy/contact's needed to maintain and/or deepen and/or strengthen on-going r-ships w/various people?

EDIT: Standing the test of time ain't the issue. Development, flux, change're all built into the system. What directions things take remains to be seen. 'Cept I DO think that when one's more available, it's easier to steer in directions one likes and/or steer clear of obstacles.

Comments

[evilgerbil.livejournal.com]

Overcoming the fear of "but if'n I'm not around folks'll forget about me and connections'll fray and others'll fill the vacuum and and" ain't gonna be easy.

Oh, I totally have that one. I get so overhwlmed I cannot even manage all the relationships and stop trying. Which is weird, because I don't tend to need a lot of attention from other people. I can go without hearing from some people for years and welcome em right back into my life.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

I've found that once a good solid base has been laid down, time can elapse w/out a lot of contact and the r-ship can be picked up again at a later date/time w/out adverse affect. So many of my r-ships up here though are relatively new that I'm not sure what how solid the base is...guess I'll be finding out real soon now.

It's been nice connecting more w/you recently(ish). Oh, J&L are down in SoCal right now, so do say Hi! from me if'n you happen to hook up w/them. I'm hoping to see 'em (at least briefly) a week from Monday when they loop through on their way back to BC.

[evilgerbil.livejournal.com]

!!!! I did not know this. I'll have to try to hook up with em. I'd love for them to meet Jeff. He grew up very near where they now live.

And I definitely agree on the connecting :)

[sidhefire.livejournal.com]

I can't imagine anyone forgetting about you sweetie.. it just means that those of us up this way will need to come down your way more often...

Ah, Shucks - Thx

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Well, I AM hoping for more visitors down here...

Re: Ah, Shucks - Thx

[deviantgrrrl.livejournal.com]

Does up there count too? Missing you and would love a chat and perhaps some visit-planning.

Re: Ah, Shucks - Thx

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Give me a call! I'd love to see you folks up yonder!

[ebony-sphynx.livejournal.com]

Our friendship was still "fairly young" when you moved away (though we had definitely already set a standard of caring and closeness rarely seen in my experience) and we're still just as close (not counting the *actual* distance issue). I'm in a parenthetical mood apparently.

I'm about 1/3 of the way through actually CLEANING and SORTING the bedroom. Oi.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Very true...thx for noting this. Feeling far better 'bout all this now anyway. Airing it was 'nuff to let me see what was up and I'm not really worried, in part b'c what will be will be and if'n things aren't meant to be, then they won't be, even if'n I'd like them to be as I'd like 'em to be. I'm in a confusing mood, apparently. ;-)

Yay for being 1/3 done! Better than 10% or zippo.

[stardragan.livejournal.com]

Oh, honey. Miss you yes, forget you never in a million years. Anyway, it's an excuse to come to Portland.

[lunarhawke.livejournal.com]

stardragan and I thought that we would come down some weekend, maybe catch the Amtrak down on a friday night, and come back either on Saturday or Sunday.....but, would definitely have to check with your schedule first. That is why she mentioned about stopping by on our way back from California (Bay area) about the 10th or the 11th of May. And, darlin, how could we possibly forget you? You are too much in our hearts!

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

I just don't know yet where I'll be when. Thx. :-)

[lunarhawke.livejournal.com]

never a problem...whenever, however, it's always nice to meet up with you!

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Cool.