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mlerulesFeeling like I'm on the verge of "getting" something important, of understanding something that's been bugging me for what feels like ages. Gonna try to work it through some here, 'cause it's important to me and it's frustrating that it's not clear.
As some of you know, I've long been frustrated by my apparent lack of intuition. Sometimes I think I've spent too much time in my head so I've lost track of how to access what my heart/gut tells me. Or mebbe it's just that I cannot articulate what they're telling me aka what I'm feeling, but mebbe that's OKAY. Mebbe what matters more is that I ACT appropriately and in-synch w/what my gut/heart feels is right. Mebbe that's the clue/secret to Going With The Flow and letting my heart guide me.
Sometimes this makes sense. Sometimes this scares the living beejesus outta me. This fear seems to stem from one aspect of out of controlledness, from loss of stability, from chaos (which I proclaim to love and embrace even as it worries me sometimes). ARGH. I despise being this inarticulate.
It's as if my ability to articulate something makes it fit into place better, makes it more sensible, makes it more manageable, less threatening. Less threatening to what though? To whatever happens when we wander into the unknown. And it's not necessarily uncharted territory now is it?
Okay. Back yet again to the Fear of Getting Stuck in a Rut versus...versus what?
I see myself as constructing a series of Safe Harbors, of places to go and be where I'm comfie and secure and happy and able to do good stuff and inspired to explore more...so when I break out (as is my wont) and go explore I'll always be able to return and ground myself properly. My goal is not to turn the entire world into my Safe Harbor, 'cause then where'd I go to explore?
These Safe Harbors and Grounding Zones include: physical/geographical spaces, routes/rades I travel over 'n' over again, soundtracks/music, liminal zones/spaces/places/times, close connections w/people. Intimacies. It'n someone's willing to share themselves w/you, it's easier to reciprocate and feel safe in the process.
*ZING* Okay. I just figured out one of the big attractions to the Most Emphatically Not In Crush (hereafter "MENIC").
*zoom* Flashes of intuition're those that you realize w/out (consciously) working through all the steps. How valuable is it to go back and try to to figure out how I got from here to there? It's what my Virgo-brain wants to do, but I'm not convinced it's necessary or even wise. And it may be an inefficient use of time 'n' energy.
Now that I've figured out what's up (at least partially), I can think on why this what I need - hell, I just said it: I find Safe Harbors within intimacy (close connections w/folks). Focus shifts then/now to how to go about achieving this. That's when sitting back and seeing what happens comes into play. Force ain't the way to go. (Although interestingly/amusingly enough using the Force helps.)
Okay. Now that this's a bit clearer to me, I'm gonna go tackle what's on my ToDo list w/renewed interest, energy, and hope. THIS is why I process!
As some of you know, I've long been frustrated by my apparent lack of intuition. Sometimes I think I've spent too much time in my head so I've lost track of how to access what my heart/gut tells me. Or mebbe it's just that I cannot articulate what they're telling me aka what I'm feeling, but mebbe that's OKAY. Mebbe what matters more is that I ACT appropriately and in-synch w/what my gut/heart feels is right. Mebbe that's the clue/secret to Going With The Flow and letting my heart guide me.
Sometimes this makes sense. Sometimes this scares the living beejesus outta me. This fear seems to stem from one aspect of out of controlledness, from loss of stability, from chaos (which I proclaim to love and embrace even as it worries me sometimes). ARGH. I despise being this inarticulate.
It's as if my ability to articulate something makes it fit into place better, makes it more sensible, makes it more manageable, less threatening. Less threatening to what though? To whatever happens when we wander into the unknown. And it's not necessarily uncharted territory now is it?
Okay. Back yet again to the Fear of Getting Stuck in a Rut versus...versus what?
I see myself as constructing a series of Safe Harbors, of places to go and be where I'm comfie and secure and happy and able to do good stuff and inspired to explore more...so when I break out (as is my wont) and go explore I'll always be able to return and ground myself properly. My goal is not to turn the entire world into my Safe Harbor, 'cause then where'd I go to explore?
These Safe Harbors and Grounding Zones include: physical/geographical spaces, routes/rades I travel over 'n' over again, soundtracks/music, liminal zones/spaces/places/times, close connections w/people. Intimacies. It'n someone's willing to share themselves w/you, it's easier to reciprocate and feel safe in the process.
*ZING* Okay. I just figured out one of the big attractions to the Most Emphatically Not In Crush (hereafter "MENIC").
*zoom* Flashes of intuition're those that you realize w/out (consciously) working through all the steps. How valuable is it to go back and try to to figure out how I got from here to there? It's what my Virgo-brain wants to do, but I'm not convinced it's necessary or even wise. And it may be an inefficient use of time 'n' energy.
Now that I've figured out what's up (at least partially), I can think on why this what I need - hell, I just said it: I find Safe Harbors within intimacy (close connections w/folks). Focus shifts then/now to how to go about achieving this. That's when sitting back and seeing what happens comes into play. Force ain't the way to go. (Although interestingly/amusingly enough using the Force helps.)
Okay. Now that this's a bit clearer to me, I'm gonna go tackle what's on my ToDo list w/renewed interest, energy, and hope. THIS is why I process!
