Realization
Oct. 14th, 2007 12:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesI must shelve the crush (the one I most emphatically don't have). On the verge of full-bore crushing...and this'd be unwise. 'Twas not long after looking into the eyes (windows to the soul) and seeing a smile and feeling my heart lurch and wishing that the smile was for me that I realized I cannot do this to myself. I cannot follow this pathway. Mebbe sometime. Mebbe something. Must shift thought patterns and focal points. I can do this. I must do this.
Damnation. I'm gonna have to struggle and fight w/this. It's like donuts, though, I MUST NOT GIVE IN. (And if'n I had the smallest smidgeon of hope/thought that there was the slightest mutuality of feeling...) No. That way madness lies. Or is lays? I'm never sure 'bout the grammar of lie v. lay. That way lies madness? That way lays madness?
Even while part of me deals w/this, another part is proceeding quite merrily along its delightful way w/opportunities arising and spreading and broadening and deepening. Realistic, in-motion, delightful (where's a thesaurus when I need one?!), alluring, sensual, connectivity, amazing, sweet, strong, powerful, slow-going, oh-so-nice.
I used to worry that I could manage and maintain and experience feelings for different people at the same time. Don't feel like such a freak for it now. Thank goodness!
Damnation. I'm gonna have to struggle and fight w/this. It's like donuts, though, I MUST NOT GIVE IN. (And if'n I had the smallest smidgeon of hope/thought that there was the slightest mutuality of feeling...) No. That way madness lies. Or is lays? I'm never sure 'bout the grammar of lie v. lay. That way lies madness? That way lays madness?
Even while part of me deals w/this, another part is proceeding quite merrily along its delightful way w/opportunities arising and spreading and broadening and deepening. Realistic, in-motion, delightful (where's a thesaurus when I need one?!), alluring, sensual, connectivity, amazing, sweet, strong, powerful, slow-going, oh-so-nice.
I used to worry that I could manage and maintain and experience feelings for different people at the same time. Don't feel like such a freak for it now. Thank goodness!
