10.28.06

[mlerules]

Driving along yesterday I stuck in a compilation that's been hidden away in the glove box of the l'il car for many moons. It's simply labeled "10.28.06."

Like many similarly named CDs, this serves as a soundtrack for a particular episode in my life. Part way through listening it to it, it became abundantly clear to me (and to delerium3 who when asked if she agreed affirmed strenuously) that 'twas inspired by a crush.

Thinking back I couldn't immediately remember who the crush was. Further thought on what was going on a year ago drew a glimmer of an identity from my mind...and at a certain point, when certain songs came on, I was certain. Now this person's identity's neither here nor there (very much THERE and NOT here, as a matter of fact). What matters is that I was inspired. Inspiration matters. It's good. It's great. It's necessary.

And what I realized was that I managed that crush quite well. I didn't get too caught up in it, I didn't race too far ahead, didn't want too much too soon, managed to keep expectations under control, managed not to get swept away while still getting swept away...how to explain it? Hmm. Dunno, really. But I'm pleased w/how it went and'll keep in mind the fact that I CAN do this...and since I WANT to do this (and have other r-ships that hadn't gone how I'd hoped and can look back and see why), so it shall be, once again.

What will be, will be. There's that ackward (sp) early stage when you're not even sure whether t'other person's interested in anything more than just being friends. Yeah, it feels a bit as if I'm back in freakin' high school right here w/this...but rather than agonizing endlessly, I'm trying to work out HOW to go about figuring out what I WANT first, then seeing whether it's even possible w/t'other (e.g., whether the interest = mutual and whether circumstances make it possible/wise to pursue further). And NO, chances of you knowing what/who I'm talking about right now're exceedingly slim, so don't even try. ;-) (Obscurity muffles.)

Anyway, suffice it to say I'm pleased w/how things worked out back then and I'm pleased w/how things're going right now. And I'm inspired to create a compilation by/for someone/something and'll be working on it once I'm home again for more than 1/2 an hour.


On A Related Matter, I'm Stating Most Emphatically That I'm Not Currently In Crush...Whilst Not Even Sure Whether I'm Lying. *SIGH* WhatEVER... :-)

EDIT: This post encompasses three (3) different scenarios/people/sets of possibilities. I note this so when I look back at it and try to remember just what the heck I was babbling on about I'll have some hope of remembering. Sometimes crypticness bites me on the butt.

Comments

[ebony-sphynx.livejournal.com]

you don't have a crush on me anymore? *giggle*

In all seriousness though, I wish I had your wisdom on this matter. It's the issue of not being swept away while being swept away and what to do/how to behave/alter my thinking when the other expresses that, really, things will only go so far. I tend to crush too hard. Dealing with such right now.

I'm glad you're able to learn from your compilations, that is a wonderful method. I miss you terribly.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Happy to help talk stuff through w/you, if'n that'd help. The wisdom comes w/the years, and the experience, and having good friends to talk through stuff with and about so I get some useful data on whether I'm being unrealistic or on-track/target ('cause sometimes in our minds we can wander off on tangents that're delightful to think on but not so wise in real life).

Do let's take some time to chat soon, either when you're up or on IM or mebbe even (gasp) on the phone.

And I love you dearly - far better than crushing, sweetness. :-)

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Hey, I know you're flying in on Sat, 10/27/07, but when do you leave?

[cetawin.livejournal.com]

"I note this so when I look back at it and try to remember just what the heck I was babbling on about I'll have some hope of remembering."

LOL it is like hiding the christmas gifts for the kids only to be missing one and find it around Easter. I hide things from myself well... *smile*

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

;-)

[sheistheweather]

Hee, I've done that...said cryptic things to myself and then had no idea what the heck they were.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

And with a mind like a steel sieve, it can get interesting trying to recreate my puzzles...