Misery Inspires
Apr. 14th, 2005 06:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesBut I'd really really like to find another muse. Oops'd re: the Harry Nilsson song title from a recent post. It's "Without You," not "Can't Live," although the latter's repeated repeatedly in the chorus. Some of my BEST ever compilations have been of the Bummer variety. I've started a good collection of 'em in fact. Not only mine, but others', too. Have my ex-hubby's from his g-friend post-me. It's a killer. One of these daze I'm gonna ask him for a copy of the one(s) he made when he & I split up. We've talked 'bout it before and it sounds like a real doozy. I've got another set from an ex in England (Tearjerkers v. I - IV). My recent guy-inspired compilations have all been mighty schizto, up & down, a real emotional roller coaster ride. And for the past several/many years, I always stick on the tried and true combo of the Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want" (But If You Try...You Get What You Need) with Stephen Still's (If You Can't Be With the One You Love) "Love the One You're With." Know what, though, this ain't 'nuff.
Mind you, I'm not miserable. Right now I'm just listening to the tunes that inspire the feelings. And this selection of tunes was inspired by certain feelings so it makes sense if they inspire those feelings. That's one reason to compile music: to distill the essence of the feelings so as to trigger 'em later on when the mood hits. Used to be able to conjure up images from books I'd read that could make me cry any time, every time. (When her dog dies in Scott O'Dell's "Island of the Blue Dolphins.") Sometimes I just wanna feel intensely. I'd prefer to feel more positively intensely, but perhaps with intensity it almost doesn't matter whether the base feeling/emotion's good or bad, just that it's STRONG. Not surprisingly, really...this is one of the bases for things like PowerExchange, although control issues loom large, too. Still, as my tag/re/subject line suggests, I want some other source of strength of emotion to inspire me these daze. Perhaps accomplishment(s) will do. Perhaps working towards something for the past three (3) years and finally FINISHING it will awake some really good sh!t within my soul.
My absolutely happiest day ever was law school graduation, because I finished it in the 3 years, because I DID IT (and didn't jerk around like I often find myself doing...procrastination or whatEVER). Sure, passing the bar and getting sworn in was good, too, but it just wasn't the same.
And now I'm feeling like Fred Cassidy (think the perpetual undergrad in Zelazny's "Doorways in the Sand"). I don't wanna get out there into the scary nasty real world so much as I wanna stay in school. We shall see what happens...
Mind you, I'm not miserable. Right now I'm just listening to the tunes that inspire the feelings. And this selection of tunes was inspired by certain feelings so it makes sense if they inspire those feelings. That's one reason to compile music: to distill the essence of the feelings so as to trigger 'em later on when the mood hits. Used to be able to conjure up images from books I'd read that could make me cry any time, every time. (When her dog dies in Scott O'Dell's "Island of the Blue Dolphins.") Sometimes I just wanna feel intensely. I'd prefer to feel more positively intensely, but perhaps with intensity it almost doesn't matter whether the base feeling/emotion's good or bad, just that it's STRONG. Not surprisingly, really...this is one of the bases for things like PowerExchange, although control issues loom large, too. Still, as my tag/re/subject line suggests, I want some other source of strength of emotion to inspire me these daze. Perhaps accomplishment(s) will do. Perhaps working towards something for the past three (3) years and finally FINISHING it will awake some really good sh!t within my soul.
My absolutely happiest day ever was law school graduation, because I finished it in the 3 years, because I DID IT (and didn't jerk around like I often find myself doing...procrastination or whatEVER). Sure, passing the bar and getting sworn in was good, too, but it just wasn't the same.
And now I'm feeling like Fred Cassidy (think the perpetual undergrad in Zelazny's "Doorways in the Sand"). I don't wanna get out there into the scary nasty real world so much as I wanna stay in school. We shall see what happens...
