Rhetorical Qx

[mlerules]

Re: boyz - why does it seem to be either Feast or Famine and never just enough? I don't (currently) think they're (all) stupid and need rocks thrown at 'em. Quite the opposite in fact. Okay, not exactly. I don't want them chucking stones either. What do I want? And what does it matter what I want?

I guess it'd matter if'n I felt I had more control than I (feel I) do 'bout getting what I want/need. You Can't Always Get What You Want has begun playing in my head. *pause to put it on so I can listen to it as I type/think aloud silently w/my fingers* I no longer think in such simple (HA!) terms as "I want so-and-so to like me," 'cause what this really means is...dang, if'n I can express this I think I'd be at least somewhat on my way to figuring some good sh!t out:

I want a particular set of circumstances...a certain conglomeration of feelings...I want someone who cares and who I care about...and how should/must/might this be EXPRESSED exactly? Unclear. Sorta like porn and art (PORT?), I'll know it when I see it...or WILL I? Behaviours (including words) as manifestations of internal goings-on/going-ons.

We have our intentions and our motivations and our actions. Sometimes our (external) actions don't reflect and/or aren't interpreted as reflecting our internal feelings.

Sometimes we click so well w/someone at some particular time...and it's wonderous and wonderful and we want MORE and we want it NOW and we want it ALWAYS. Sometimes I think of people as a series of spinning gears, speeding up and slowing down as circumstances/life dictate(s) (or perhaps even more randomnly), changing sizes at times...and sometimes we meet up w/someone else with compatible gears and the meshing is marvelous.

And I must say I'm SO pleased that I'm not younger and less experienced w/all this, 'cause even now I find myself growing bored w/thinking 'bout all this. I will NOT let it consume me. I will NOT obsess. I will get on w/my life, doing what I can to increase gear-meshing compatibility and meshing opportunities whilst maintaining an extremely low drama-potential life.

HEE - in continuing the on-going life-living, I was just highly amused by the dancing foot video w/kitty-lamp background courtesy of the ever-silly D3...and I'm feeling fab!

Comments

[anansi133.livejournal.com]

I remember the first time I had as much sex and romance as I wanted in my life... Three girlfriends, who unfortunatley didn't want to know anything about each other. There was a hellish aspect to this, I'd drop the ball and overcommit, or try to return lost earrings to the wrong woman. Since then, I've had to make do with a lot less sex than I would otherwise want, but at least I can openly admit I'm not into monogamy.