SO not gonna jinx anything by saying too much now...but SO noticing serious contrasts 'tween communication abilities/styles/occurences amongst diff folks. *sigh*
Taking things slow & easy. Thinking 'bout how to present myself, which masks/hats to don/doff and when, who I wanna be when I'm with person X...in other words: who do I wanna BE, which of myselves works best, is most true/valid/right/ME, 'cause I'm only (hopefully) picking amongst the "real" selves. Then the issue becomes: who am I when I'm with diff folks, how do the social dynamics of a situation (such as geography, activity, other personnel, etc.) affect matters, where do I wanna put my time & energy...from whence will I reap the most/best benefit? Of course, it takes a certain amount of time & energy input to figure out the possibilities in/from any particular situation (with anyone in particular).
Cost-benefit analysis: damn I'm often so bad 'bout this...gotta remember that I shouldn't have to put out so much to get just a little...and resentment ain't good for nobody or nuttin'.
What's normal? What're good benchmarks? What sort of timeline and/or progression is good, valid, indicative of "success" or something positive versus something negative? Seems like I should've figured this out by now, huh?!
Good night out: tour of UCLA's new sculpture lab (
hiddentass - you would've drooled over the tools/machinery/facilities), numbly dinner at Frankies, good jazz at Charlie O's, and of course, great people.
Taking things slow & easy. Thinking 'bout how to present myself, which masks/hats to don/doff and when, who I wanna be when I'm with person X...in other words: who do I wanna BE, which of myselves works best, is most true/valid/right/ME, 'cause I'm only (hopefully) picking amongst the "real" selves. Then the issue becomes: who am I when I'm with diff folks, how do the social dynamics of a situation (such as geography, activity, other personnel, etc.) affect matters, where do I wanna put my time & energy...from whence will I reap the most/best benefit? Of course, it takes a certain amount of time & energy input to figure out the possibilities in/from any particular situation (with anyone in particular).
Cost-benefit analysis: damn I'm often so bad 'bout this...gotta remember that I shouldn't have to put out so much to get just a little...and resentment ain't good for nobody or nuttin'.
What's normal? What're good benchmarks? What sort of timeline and/or progression is good, valid, indicative of "success" or something positive versus something negative? Seems like I should've figured this out by now, huh?!
Good night out: tour of UCLA's new sculpture lab (