Self-Quisling-Cum-SRT Contemplation
Oct. 30th, 2006 09:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesHit D-land for the 4th time this month today. Ran into ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
teaa but didn't get to hang w/her and friend b'd of schedules. Always feels good heading there and being there and returning...even if the last is always tiring and when tired.
Well, different from MouseHouse-ness anyway. Not perhaps so very different from (m)any of my rambling updates on the state of M - as opposed to MH ;-)
Recent and on-going status: fairly numb...not in a bad way though...just not...something. Trying to find words to express it...trying to...but there's just not that much (t)here now. Bursts of wonderfulness (gems sparkling in the grey netherworld...the doldrums perhaps) include, well, interactions w/people. Was gonna list 'em and the bright bits, but I know 'em and feel 'em and so do you who were there (individually and/or in a group).
Feeling like being stroked. That's what I'd like.
Mini-epiphany (perhaps - not sure how to read the sign(s) and/or articulate my burst of insight and/or make sense of the bubble that just burst): the current numbness is b'c I'm tamping down my...fires/gunpowder/forces...energies? Is this so? If so, is this wise? Seems unwise. Channeling's vital.
In my own time, in my own way, I continue living, day by day. My prose may be disjointed, but I'm not necessarily so. It's simply this: I'm shifting gears. I've been spinning like a top...but I'm getting ready to travel in other directions and by other analogies. Transition is here. Such times can be very calming and centering...or can require calmness and centering, anyway.
Impetus as pressure and/or pressure as impetus. (Impotence and pressure?) Chickens & eggs. I remember laying on my belly in Lithia Park reading Oranges Aren't the Only Fruit (Jeanette Winterson)...years back now. Right now I'm looking forward to the upcoming Solo Road Trip ("SRT"). Feels like I've needed it for a while now. Hmm. Mini-E(tm): I seem to need to be on the road a lot of late. This is not uncommon for me. I like to roam. To wander and wonder.
HOWEVER: R-ships exist in the present. It's this simple. (Simple?! HA) ... Emotional balancesheets: singular or group? Engagements.
***
I'm settling in...to the idea of leaving. ... Well, at least for this couple of weeks anyway.
***
I'm currently working on the music for the SRT. It's gonna be good. Mmmmm, fresh compilations...
teaa but didn't get to hang w/her and friend b'd of schedules. Always feels good heading there and being there and returning...even if the last is always tiring and when tired. Well, different from MouseHouse-ness anyway. Not perhaps so very different from (m)any of my rambling updates on the state of M - as opposed to MH ;-)
Recent and on-going status: fairly numb...not in a bad way though...just not...something. Trying to find words to express it...trying to...but there's just not that much (t)here now. Bursts of wonderfulness (gems sparkling in the grey netherworld...the doldrums perhaps) include, well, interactions w/people. Was gonna list 'em and the bright bits, but I know 'em and feel 'em and so do you who were there (individually and/or in a group).
Feeling like being stroked. That's what I'd like.
Mini-epiphany (perhaps - not sure how to read the sign(s) and/or articulate my burst of insight and/or make sense of the bubble that just burst): the current numbness is b'c I'm tamping down my...fires/gunpowder/forces...energies? Is this so? If so, is this wise? Seems unwise. Channeling's vital.
In my own time, in my own way, I continue living, day by day. My prose may be disjointed, but I'm not necessarily so. It's simply this: I'm shifting gears. I've been spinning like a top...but I'm getting ready to travel in other directions and by other analogies. Transition is here. Such times can be very calming and centering...or can require calmness and centering, anyway.
Impetus as pressure and/or pressure as impetus. (Impotence and pressure?) Chickens & eggs. I remember laying on my belly in Lithia Park reading Oranges Aren't the Only Fruit (Jeanette Winterson)...years back now. Right now I'm looking forward to the upcoming Solo Road Trip ("SRT"). Feels like I've needed it for a while now. Hmm. Mini-E(tm): I seem to need to be on the road a lot of late. This is not uncommon for me. I like to roam. To wander and wonder.
HOWEVER: R-ships exist in the present. It's this simple. (Simple?! HA) ... Emotional balancesheets: singular or group? Engagements.
***
I'm settling in...to the idea of leaving. ... Well, at least for this couple of weeks anyway.
***
I'm currently working on the music for the SRT. It's gonna be good. Mmmmm, fresh compilations...
