Mini-Epiphany(tm)
Oct. 20th, 2006 04:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesEarlier today I experienced a couple of moments worth retaining. One was more mental. The other 'twas more emotional. The current noise outside's driving 'em outta my mind/soul, but I'll try what I can. [As an aside, 'twas annoying leaving behind the quietude for the mess of local paving, plumbing, and gasworks. Apparently They hit a gas line so it's now turned off. Not sure when it'll be back on. Luckily I have plans to eat out already, as I ain't cooking with gas here.]
Trying hard to recreate the thoughts: 'twas along the lines of...damn. Here's where I vomit up a mass of gelatinous thoughts and go back and look at 'em, hoping for something shiny to show through (nugget of gold in the dross):
A good life is a considered life, a conscious life. This does NOT conflict with paying more attention to my intuition! Intuition can be part of an actively involved, proactive style of life. In fact, it's an integral part of it. (IT switching back and forth 'tween INTUITION and CONSCIOUSLY LIVED LIFE.) Will return to this anon...
Emotionally: Was feeling a bit high school, as in waiting by the phone for someone to call, joyous when it happened, perhaps crushed when it didn't. Then all of a sudden it shifted...I shifted focus elsewhere. Since then it's shifted again. BUT THE SHIFT OCCURED. So is it a person or the feelings? How much do I want/need a focus...a person as a focus...several people as focal points? What do I get outta this? What do I HOPE/WANT to get outta this? Time? Attention? Love? Pleasure? Mutuality? Consideration? Something in particular?
What models exist for figuring this out and/or for constructing/imagining/creating positive r-ships (if this is indeed whassup)?
And these two strands (intuition & conscious living and emotional focal shifts) combine into another. ARGH - DANGBLASTED INTERRUPTIONS. Will return to this again later.
B'c now something's been tossed into the mix...
'Cept now I've got more empathy for some folks...and perhaps a better understanding of certain things which've bugged me. So this is good, overall anyway.
Trying hard to recreate the thoughts: 'twas along the lines of...damn. Here's where I vomit up a mass of gelatinous thoughts and go back and look at 'em, hoping for something shiny to show through (nugget of gold in the dross):
A good life is a considered life, a conscious life. This does NOT conflict with paying more attention to my intuition! Intuition can be part of an actively involved, proactive style of life. In fact, it's an integral part of it. (IT switching back and forth 'tween INTUITION and CONSCIOUSLY LIVED LIFE.) Will return to this anon...
Emotionally: Was feeling a bit high school, as in waiting by the phone for someone to call, joyous when it happened, perhaps crushed when it didn't. Then all of a sudden it shifted...I shifted focus elsewhere. Since then it's shifted again. BUT THE SHIFT OCCURED. So is it a person or the feelings? How much do I want/need a focus...a person as a focus...several people as focal points? What do I get outta this? What do I HOPE/WANT to get outta this? Time? Attention? Love? Pleasure? Mutuality? Consideration? Something in particular?
What models exist for figuring this out and/or for constructing/imagining/creating positive r-ships (if this is indeed whassup)?
And these two strands (intuition & conscious living and emotional focal shifts) combine into another. ARGH - DANGBLASTED INTERRUPTIONS. Will return to this again later.
B'c now something's been tossed into the mix...
'Cept now I've got more empathy for some folks...and perhaps a better understanding of certain things which've bugged me. So this is good, overall anyway.
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-21 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-21 12:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-21 12:27 am (UTC)Good for you! Mebbe 'twas just time for a change, time to put into action whatcha been thunking 'bout and known for a while now.