Nest of Rules
Sep. 4th, 2006 02:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesI feel as if I've fallen into a nest of snakes. It's dark and I have no light, yet I'm expected to discern a pattern...and follow that pattern through to its natural conclusion. Problem is: I cannot always see so called "Natural Conclusions" without Jumping...mebbe it's not bad. Mebbe jumping = leap o' faith. I usually need to see the next step before leaping. Oh. Damn. I'm SO lying. Yet now I'm guarded. I don't WANT TO BE ON GUARD. I want to fall, to leap, to plummet, to labyrinth.
I want to be chauffered for a change. Derivation: ORIGIN late 19th cent.(in the general sense [motorist] ): from French, literally ‘stoker’ (by association with steam engines), from chauffer ‘to heat.’ Did the word spring to mind b'c I'd read "The Difference Engine?" It's one of those books that waits a while before it boots you in the head.
Sometimes I prefer my fantasies open-ended. Some sort of structure must be built, constructed. NOT woven out of whole cloth. I feel a bit as if I've been played like a fish. Now I'm caught in a web, perhaps slightly sticky. I've got nothing against spiders. Quite like 'em in fact. But I ain't bait. Or tail. Ooooooh, some things make me so mad.
Right now the fantasy I have in mind revolves around staying here, becoming an agoraphobic for a week. No, I realize this isn't possible. Why do I stray so far from home? Or is home where I am...blah blah blah. Uh, I hear another song coming on: (from Fellowship! The Musical) "The Road may be long, days may be hard / The Sky may be cold and grey, / As long as You're here, right by my side, / Home's NEVER too far away!" That was my first ever musical or theatrical performance. No. That's not right. It'd been a long LONG time though.
Ack. Must get back to things on the To Do list. Ah. Relax. Recover. Do what I'm drawn to do. Give in for a spell. Sit down. Sit back. Listen to music. Overwhelmingness can be such fun!
I want to be chauffered for a change. Derivation: ORIGIN late 19th cent.(in the general sense [motorist] ): from French, literally ‘stoker’ (by association with steam engines), from chauffer ‘to heat.’ Did the word spring to mind b'c I'd read "The Difference Engine?" It's one of those books that waits a while before it boots you in the head.
Sometimes I prefer my fantasies open-ended. Some sort of structure must be built, constructed. NOT woven out of whole cloth. I feel a bit as if I've been played like a fish. Now I'm caught in a web, perhaps slightly sticky. I've got nothing against spiders. Quite like 'em in fact. But I ain't bait. Or tail. Ooooooh, some things make me so mad.
Right now the fantasy I have in mind revolves around staying here, becoming an agoraphobic for a week. No, I realize this isn't possible. Why do I stray so far from home? Or is home where I am...blah blah blah. Uh, I hear another song coming on: (from Fellowship! The Musical) "The Road may be long, days may be hard / The Sky may be cold and grey, / As long as You're here, right by my side, / Home's NEVER too far away!" That was my first ever musical or theatrical performance. No. That's not right. It'd been a long LONG time though.
Ack. Must get back to things on the To Do list. Ah. Relax. Recover. Do what I'm drawn to do. Give in for a spell. Sit down. Sit back. Listen to music. Overwhelmingness can be such fun!
