Shift: Annoyance > Fear

Where once upon a time I would likely have felt Fear/Trepidation, now I'm likelier to feel Annoyance/Anger. Dunno how general this shift is though vs. what's up specifically right now. Main diff may end up in my reaction/action. Rather than massive worrying/spinning, I think I'm more likely to turn away (in disgust/annoyance) and focus elsewhere for a spell (avoidance strategy...if'n "strategy" even appropriate to use in conjunction w/avoidance since it's really my refusal/reluctance to deal with/engage).

It's not that I'm mad, mind. More mildly (or more) frustrated. I want fruit and get given coffee. Or something...or nuttin', honey.

"What am I pretending not to know?"

Words to chew on some.

Phew!

Just talked w/dad and he's doing okay.

EDIT: And I'm realizing that I had not really realized how wound up I was 'bout not hearing from him for several days, despite not consciously feeling stressed 'bout it.

Mum's the Word (Treacle Sandwich)

And I don't mean Mumm's. Not nearly so fizzy 'n' bright 'n' fancy 'n' 'spensive. Heh. So far from't in fact as to be highly amusink.

Tides 'n' moons 'n' moods. Solo...how low can you go...limbo...dance, children dance, and give yourself to freedom. Argh - this line from a song has gotten stuck in my head. I know the song, but I cannot right now recall what 'tis. (And I may be misquoting the line ;-)

Reaching out. Reaching in. Letting go. Letting loose. Getting close. Getting closer. To the truth? What is the truth? In this moment...unclear.

And now the anger fades to sadness, as I had figured it might. It's almost a relief, actually. I don't experience a lot of anger. Usually I revert to...feeling nada at all...going emotionally numb. At some point earlier I theorized that I'd end up internalizing my annoyance/anger, turning it away from the outside to the inside. Blaming myself.

Hmm, what can I learn from this? Because if'n I can at least turn this into a Teachable/Learnable Moment, perhaps I can salvage something positive from a sticky patch. Tarnation!

Inevitability? Dunno. My hindsight's no longer farsighted. Or near. Much *sighing*

WhatEVER.

And what will I burn this year?

Newsie News(ish)

International press reaction to UK riots.

Tongue firmly planted in cheek: Seven alternatives to evidence based medicine.

Too good to be true? New drug could cure nearly any viral infection.

Even zombies? Need to ask the Zombie Research Society!

Mmm, brains..., featuring an interview w/edwardmartiniii.