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mlerulesWavering 'tween (1) wanting to go to party this eve and mingle and (2) feeling mega-antisocial. Will go, but may escape early.
So, various friends and acquaintances o' mine are reaching/hitting various major life events these daze: retiring from career, having a baby, moving to another state for a new job, suffering through a hellacious Divorce, trying to get career/job/class/something on-track.
Strings fraying. Ether will count for far more in the near future than physical ties (in-person interaction). Words must suffice. Hugs and eye-contact must wait. I'm supposed to be good at transition, at dealing w/change. Maybe I am good at it...but it can still hurt like the Dickens. Am phasing in and out of NLF (Nothing Lasts Forever), figuring since it's so, why get close in the first place? Eventually I remember that getting close is a big part of what it's all about and why it's worthwhile (it = Life Universe & Everything). Still, there's a part of me that's holding back...or is at least worried sick that since I'm not holding back, I'm gonna get hurt badly...so I pull myself back, remind myself of my responsibility to myself: to stay sane, to make choices based on what I need (as well as everyone else). Nobody else will look out for me (unfortunately), so I've gotta keep an eye out for myself.
Must develop strategies to increase the likelihood of meeting my needs. Must regain a certain measure of control over my life. Drifting and wandering's fine...I often find myself in eddies...what I must be wary of is getting stuck in the doldrums, of spinning in place when I must break free and move along. It's time to come to terms w/paths not taken, to let go, to move on, to forge new paths and new connections, to maintain what's worth maintaining (cannot be one-sided), to let go of the past...and of the potential futures that haven't come to pass.
And so we swap out calendars, get together in large (or small) groups, mingle, enjoy each others' company, and usher in a new moon and a new year...and a new attitude.
So, various friends and acquaintances o' mine are reaching/hitting various major life events these daze: retiring from career, having a baby, moving to another state for a new job, suffering through a hellacious Divorce, trying to get career/job/class/something on-track.
Strings fraying. Ether will count for far more in the near future than physical ties (in-person interaction). Words must suffice. Hugs and eye-contact must wait. I'm supposed to be good at transition, at dealing w/change. Maybe I am good at it...but it can still hurt like the Dickens. Am phasing in and out of NLF (Nothing Lasts Forever), figuring since it's so, why get close in the first place? Eventually I remember that getting close is a big part of what it's all about and why it's worthwhile (it = Life Universe & Everything). Still, there's a part of me that's holding back...or is at least worried sick that since I'm not holding back, I'm gonna get hurt badly...so I pull myself back, remind myself of my responsibility to myself: to stay sane, to make choices based on what I need (as well as everyone else). Nobody else will look out for me (unfortunately), so I've gotta keep an eye out for myself.
Must develop strategies to increase the likelihood of meeting my needs. Must regain a certain measure of control over my life. Drifting and wandering's fine...I often find myself in eddies...what I must be wary of is getting stuck in the doldrums, of spinning in place when I must break free and move along. It's time to come to terms w/paths not taken, to let go, to move on, to forge new paths and new connections, to maintain what's worth maintaining (cannot be one-sided), to let go of the past...and of the potential futures that haven't come to pass.
And so we swap out calendars, get together in large (or small) groups, mingle, enjoy each others' company, and usher in a new moon and a new year...and a new attitude.
