Vicissitudes – Care & Feeding
Dec. 28th, 2005 12:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesIt’s time to come to terms with…the changing nature of my life. Change being the sole constant in my existence. Jungle blues. “She says Abracadabra/She goes down on you.” Anybody?
It takes great effort (worthwhile effort) to vindicate oneself w/out vilifying anybody else in the process. Must not give into…myself. Must not drag myself down. Must be free…from worry, from self-doubt. I can usually get there, but sometimes it takes a while.
What do I want? What do I need? What need(s) do I want to fulfill? Not sure why, but it matters to me that these get considered (at least once) separately with an eye to where they do and don’t intersect.
I must cut the cord. Yeah, the inspiration's obvious enough for this imagery.
Who’s my audience? Myself. And whoever caroms off when hit by the ME bubble. Sporadically spinny. Sometimes deliriously dizzy. Sometimes furry. Sometimes bubbly. End times? Nope. Not quite yet. Still time to play.
This continues my spate of Terrific Tuesdays, currently my favorite day of the week. Some time back I started the tradition of making an End of the Year compilation. Can’t explain why. It’s important to me and I know I’ll appreciate it greatly later on. This eve I’ve taken the time to work on it – and get a chunk done.
Hmm, something else to work on: bad attitude re: boys. Must shift it back around to a positive one. Ren clutching his chest, barely squeaking out “I…am hurting.” Not sure whether this will help. It’s a start. Okay, it’s a sucky one. Let’s try this again: Constellations shift. Take a look at the big picture and let the details escape, at least for now.
Research as needed. Do what’s needed as needed. Part of this is figuring out the whole needs thing on a more specific detailed level. Hmm, I don’t want homework, so I’ll let it loose into my subconscious to do its damnedness, checking in now and again and letting bubbles surface at random times. Eventually I’ll figure it out…so long as I’m trying, that’s progress. (Rate is quite variable. Again with the mutability of everything. NLF.
Have come up with a likely ending song for the End of 2005: Here and Now (Del Amitri). May change it to 12/27/05 as it’s possibly more evocative of today, of this particular subroutine of my current (this moment) mindset. Going to lock it in. Going to etch a moment into history through words sung and music played.
What I create and what I contribute cannot be easily measured.
Meanwhile, I'm also working on an on-going project of the Best Songs for Slow Dancing. What're your faves?
EDIT: 1:00 a.m. 12/27/05 compilation done & burned. Will give it listen o'morrow (and Th as well if req'd) and modify as needed. Feels good to have gotten something done, even if post-Road Trip. More likely to do this pre-, but for whatever reasons things got switched this time around.
It takes great effort (worthwhile effort) to vindicate oneself w/out vilifying anybody else in the process. Must not give into…myself. Must not drag myself down. Must be free…from worry, from self-doubt. I can usually get there, but sometimes it takes a while.
What do I want? What do I need? What need(s) do I want to fulfill? Not sure why, but it matters to me that these get considered (at least once) separately with an eye to where they do and don’t intersect.
I must cut the cord. Yeah, the inspiration's obvious enough for this imagery.
Who’s my audience? Myself. And whoever caroms off when hit by the ME bubble. Sporadically spinny. Sometimes deliriously dizzy. Sometimes furry. Sometimes bubbly. End times? Nope. Not quite yet. Still time to play.
This continues my spate of Terrific Tuesdays, currently my favorite day of the week. Some time back I started the tradition of making an End of the Year compilation. Can’t explain why. It’s important to me and I know I’ll appreciate it greatly later on. This eve I’ve taken the time to work on it – and get a chunk done.
Hmm, something else to work on: bad attitude re: boys. Must shift it back around to a positive one. Ren clutching his chest, barely squeaking out “I…am hurting.” Not sure whether this will help. It’s a start. Okay, it’s a sucky one. Let’s try this again: Constellations shift. Take a look at the big picture and let the details escape, at least for now.
Research as needed. Do what’s needed as needed. Part of this is figuring out the whole needs thing on a more specific detailed level. Hmm, I don’t want homework, so I’ll let it loose into my subconscious to do its damnedness, checking in now and again and letting bubbles surface at random times. Eventually I’ll figure it out…so long as I’m trying, that’s progress. (Rate is quite variable. Again with the mutability of everything. NLF.
Have come up with a likely ending song for the End of 2005: Here and Now (Del Amitri). May change it to 12/27/05 as it’s possibly more evocative of today, of this particular subroutine of my current (this moment) mindset. Going to lock it in. Going to etch a moment into history through words sung and music played.
What I create and what I contribute cannot be easily measured.
Meanwhile, I'm also working on an on-going project of the Best Songs for Slow Dancing. What're your faves?
EDIT: 1:00 a.m. 12/27/05 compilation done & burned. Will give it listen o'morrow (and Th as well if req'd) and modify as needed. Feels good to have gotten something done, even if post-Road Trip. More likely to do this pre-, but for whatever reasons things got switched this time around.
