A Simple Request
Sep. 26th, 2005 10:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesI do wish the gardeners would wait at least 'til after 8am to fire up the loud machines. With earplugs hammered deeply into my skull I still heard the roar, so pulled the covers, pillows, and larger cat over my head and ret'd to slumberland, which I couldn't really do 'til the noise stopped). On the positive side: it didn't last too long and I do so love the smell of freshly mown grass.
At last night's Dead Can Dance show I ran into and/or spotted a whole mess of folks I know from a whole bunch of different places and times in my life. One "friend" who had disappeared from my life several years back under what I thought could've been troublesome circs (given some stupid drama going on at the time w/a mutual acquaintance that I was doing my darndest to avoid) had no problem coming up and saying "Hi" and making sure my contact info's the same so we'll get together for lunch one of these days. She's just horrible at keeping in touch. (After hanging out quite a bit in law school it took me calling her outta the blue several years after graduation for us to reconnect and start hanging out again.) I knew this but couldn't be bothered to do more than leave a few VMs and send a few e-mails at the time (when I heard through the grapevine she was engaged - now they've got a 15-month son, which lets you know how long it's been since we've been in touch!) Now, well, we'll see. She's not a friend I'd tell everything (or even complicated) things to...but she can be fun to hang out with and could serve as an avenue for further exploration and networking in the quest for expanding the circle of friends.
One of these days I will probably run into one of the two people (now married to each other) responsible for the biggest DramaFest of my life in SoCal. It's just too small a world for this not to happen. This doesn't bother me. It'll amuse me greatly when it happens. She'll prolly act as if nothing untoward ever went on and as if we're still quite good friends. He'll stew and sweat and get mad...and who knows what else.
Oh, it's SUCH a bad idea to give up olde friends for a special r-ship w/one friend. (Assuming the olde ones ain't getting you into a mess of trouble on a regular basis.) Been there, done that. Regretted it. Of course when you get involved in a new r-ship (or enter into new and different r-ship modes w/an olde friend), you'll have less time and energy for the olde ones. Priorities get reshuffled, time becomes even more precious, and you're just not as close as you once were. But abandoning half a dozen or so super-close friends on purpose - and at the explicit direction of the spouse-to-be - strikes me as an unwise move. For some, though, sucumbing to massive manipulation and controlling efforts of another somehow feels like * real love * and out of a desire (want/NEED) for security (financial - as well as some sort of twisted emotional along the suspect reasoning of "if I give up all others for him, then he really knows I care...and by default's GOTTA love me most and satisfy all my needs 'cause I'm doing all this for him.") She was one of my dearest friends...and I wish her well. But I ain't trusting her again.
At last night's Dead Can Dance show I ran into and/or spotted a whole mess of folks I know from a whole bunch of different places and times in my life. One "friend" who had disappeared from my life several years back under what I thought could've been troublesome circs (given some stupid drama going on at the time w/a mutual acquaintance that I was doing my darndest to avoid) had no problem coming up and saying "Hi" and making sure my contact info's the same so we'll get together for lunch one of these days. She's just horrible at keeping in touch. (After hanging out quite a bit in law school it took me calling her outta the blue several years after graduation for us to reconnect and start hanging out again.) I knew this but couldn't be bothered to do more than leave a few VMs and send a few e-mails at the time (when I heard through the grapevine she was engaged - now they've got a 15-month son, which lets you know how long it's been since we've been in touch!) Now, well, we'll see. She's not a friend I'd tell everything (or even complicated) things to...but she can be fun to hang out with and could serve as an avenue for further exploration and networking in the quest for expanding the circle of friends.
One of these days I will probably run into one of the two people (now married to each other) responsible for the biggest DramaFest of my life in SoCal. It's just too small a world for this not to happen. This doesn't bother me. It'll amuse me greatly when it happens. She'll prolly act as if nothing untoward ever went on and as if we're still quite good friends. He'll stew and sweat and get mad...and who knows what else.
Oh, it's SUCH a bad idea to give up olde friends for a special r-ship w/one friend. (Assuming the olde ones ain't getting you into a mess of trouble on a regular basis.) Been there, done that. Regretted it. Of course when you get involved in a new r-ship (or enter into new and different r-ship modes w/an olde friend), you'll have less time and energy for the olde ones. Priorities get reshuffled, time becomes even more precious, and you're just not as close as you once were. But abandoning half a dozen or so super-close friends on purpose - and at the explicit direction of the spouse-to-be - strikes me as an unwise move. For some, though, sucumbing to massive manipulation and controlling efforts of another somehow feels like * real love * and out of a desire (want/NEED) for security (financial - as well as some sort of twisted emotional along the suspect reasoning of "if I give up all others for him, then he really knows I care...and by default's GOTTA love me most and satisfy all my needs 'cause I'm doing all this for him.") She was one of my dearest friends...and I wish her well. But I ain't trusting her again.
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no subject
Date: 2005-09-26 07:19 pm (UTC)It was great to see you!
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Date: 2005-09-26 07:24 pm (UTC)I thought we had...sure seemed like it anyway. ;-)
- Ditto!
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Date: 2005-09-27 10:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-27 10:38 am (UTC)Didja have a fab time Maladicting (whatEVER) after the show?