Facing & Taking On Challenges

[mlerules]

Nearly a year later...and I'm back. Have been so on 'n' off, but now it's feeling here to stay long(er)-term. Time to challenge myself re: time and expectations...perhaps.

I have a pref'd mode of communication style(s) that doesn't always mesh well w/others' [gr?]. I know this. Mebbe I forget this? Mebbe I've not been flexible enough?

A Failed Experiment = An Oppo for Learning. Yet how/when does one draw that line 'tween being true to oneself vs. being open and understanding and accepting (enough) of others? (Figuring out what's "enough" is key.) Sometimes it feels as I'm too giving/open/accepting....as if I don't look out for myself enough. Yet sometimes I require too much w/out necessarily realizing it myself. What to DO about?

Hmm, I could pay more attention to myself and whassup w/me. It sounds incredibly selfish and I'm somewhat loathe to do it, yet I realize it must needs happen. Phew; good to realize this. Not quite sure how to manifest it aka Make It So, but I now vow to try to pay more 'n' better attention, figure out how to act appropriately, and then do so.

Life Skill(s) training time. Need to be happy on own. Need to not be too needy. Heh. LOL at self time. EEP! said w/smile on face and whilst knodding my head.

A life skill I need and want to work on: knowing when to say when...and saying it then.

Meanwhile, I do wonder that you think of when someone says they like to "Go Deep?" (No, I'm not meaning sexually, so get yr minds outta the gutter/wherever ;-)

CAVEAT: This post isn't triggered by anything in particular, but rather a bunch of l'il things that've cropped up over the last however long. Some recent readings have helped along some of my self-examination which's led to this thought-tuff, such as this Petting Zoo essay on How to Communicate> by edwardmartiniii.

Comments

[fjorlief.livejournal.com]

I often find useful information in Edwards essays. Some of what he writes makes assumptions that are not valid for me, but that is mostly because I am a Very Odd Duck Indeed.

What I think if someone told me that they like to "Go Deep" would be that they prefer to live/talk/whatever on a more central, intense, meaningful level rather than just social chitchat. But I would likely *ask* them what they meant by that, to get more clarity. My natural language is quite specific and idiosyncratic, and I imagine that many other folks language is as well. I have spent my entire life struggling to learn how to communicate clearly with my fellow hominoids.

Self knowledge is never wasteful, the more clearly we know ourselves the greater chance that our dealings with others will also be clear and not full of static and miscommunication.

...such is my point of view today, anyway...

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thx for taking the time 'n' energy to respond. I value your input.

[magickalmom.livejournal.com]

"knowing when to say when...and saying it then"

This is something I am still working on myself. I am getting much better at saying "when" during times that it is obvious even to the outsider that I am spread thin already. Where I am still I getting really frustrated with myself is when I feel I have the time/energy/space or whatever so I agree to/volunteer to commit myself to that particular thing... then when the time comes for that particular thing and life has shifted and I now then that I no longer have the time/energy/space and I find myself stuck in spenpa. Part of me is screaming, "fulfill your commitments" and the other part is reminding me that "you are not going to be able to pull off this commitment without paying a huge personal price."

Do you struggle with this?

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

This isn't so much of an issue for me, largely b'c I try to work it so that I'm in decent enough shape to fulfill my commitments, which may mean declining other options to make sure I can follow through on previously made ones. I have, however, pulled back on making as many plans these days b'c I know I just don't have as much energy in general so don't wanna end up in the tricky position you described. Harder for you though, I know, b'c you have far more ducks to juggle so it's easier for things to wander off course such that you end up without the energy/time you thought you'd have had.

Best wishes to each/both of us w/this!