Going To Church

[mlerules]

So, yesterday was only my 5th ever time attending a regular religious service (as in not one for a transitional life event: baptism, confirmation, bar/bat mitzvah, wedding, or funeral/memorial service). (Unless something else's slipped outta one of the slots in my steel sieve-brain. Hmm, I'm gonna give my dad a call later today, as I seem to recall years ago him taking me/us to temple somewhere in SF for some social stuff that might've included something somewhat more religious that I might not've noticed as such at the time.)

My first time was in the summer of 1983, when living in NH w/boyfriend D and his bro T chez his 'rents. Driving around one afternoon, we stumbled upon a tent revival. Having nothing else to do, we went in and watched a fascinating sermon/service punctuated by folks being called by God and filled by the holy spirit, speaking in tongues, writhing on the ground, and the like. Fascinating. We sat near the back and eventually bailed before becoming the focus of attention.

Later that year, on 12/25/83 to be precise, after D & T & I had moved (each separately) to SoCal, I ended up at a Roman Catholic mass. D&T's mom was in town b'c T was in (or had shortly gotten out of - cannot quite remember the timing) a coma. She really wanted to go and having us along was important to her, so my BF and I accompanied her. 'Twas far more formal than the tent revival, but I suppose the Spirit(s) was(/were ;-) still present.

Sometime in the past decade, when I still lived in SoCal (so over 5 years ago), I accompanied some friends to an Episcopal service in Lompoc, CA one Sunday morning, as they were friends w/the priest. More recently, I attended a good Solstice service led by a Pagan priest friend o' mine at a UU church up in WA (honoring the 7th? plank/Earth-based religions).

Just yesterday, I went to a United Methodist Church service down in Springfield, OR (outside Eugene) w/jaylake and the_child. I quite liked the music and the opportunity to sing along all together. The sermon/topic was about the Holy Spirit. 'Twas interesting, 'specially when the kids trooped in from (presumably) Sunday school for a sermonette at their level which included (marvelously enough) making balloon animals as an analogy for the wind/air/Holy Spirit filling one and breathing life/holyness/whatEVER into a person.

I don't believe in God, but I do believe in PASSION, in being filled w/a desire to...to create, to write, to paint, to do something to bridge the existential gaps 'tween people, to widen appreciation of the commonality 'tween folks, to share joy (and thereby expand it), to share grief or pain (and thereby lessen it), to shine lights on paths, to create community, to make something bigger (and better) than merely myself.

Where do I go to fill myself up w/this desire, to imbue myself w/this holy spirit? Nature. Music. Sometimes it's a solitary pastime. Other times it's in a group, but not a group w/that as its focus necessarily.

Okay. I'm inspired to go out in the wind in an bit and see what blows my way (and what cobwebs get blown away in the process).

Realizing that I do indeed have energy (spirit ;-), 'cept it's not always obvious and sometimes gets tamped down. I want to figure out how better to release it, regain it, refresh it, and put it to good use (good works)...

Comments

[joycemocha.livejournal.com]

Spirit is a big part of why I have continued with faith practices. Well, except for right now I'm mad at the Church about their dang politics over contraception, and it's something that has me in faithful dissent. As in not taking Communion at the moment.

But there are good things about Mass and the Communion, and I definitely feel the Presence.

Just not happy with the priests at the moment.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

I wasn't raised w/any faith practices, although I know a bit 'bout various religions because my 'rents're Anthropologists and my mom's main interests when I was growing up included Comparative Religion.

I consider my spirituality more akin to sensing/appreciating a Connection rather than a Presence, if that makes sense.

Curious as to how long it's been since you last took Communion, given that the Church's stance against contraception goes back quite a ways.

[joycemocha.livejournal.com]

It's been a few months. The stand against contraception has been (until very recently) one of those areas where dissent was possible upon the grounds of examining your conscience and making an informed decision (otherwise there'd be damned few women attending the church/taking Communion these days). It's just been this past year that it has become a make or break issue.

My political differences started really flaring up with the way the sexual abuse issues were handled. Sadly, I am not horribly surprised by the latest. The Rat (Cardinal Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict) was the person who wrote the current contraception policy in contradiction to the will of the majority in Vatican II and until recently has not seen the opening to push that stance. Had V2 been followed and the will of the Spirit followed, thoughtful contraception (and not the so-called wonder of Natural Family Planning) would have been allowed. Within the confines of marriage, true, but still allowed.

It does make one wonder what would have happened if the policy had followed the V2 majority report. As it were, I know many Catholic women who have used the pill. I am one of them--and it was predominantly for hormonal issues, secondarily for birth control. Given the nature of my cycles when I was fertile, I could not have effectively used something like NFP--20-60 day cycles, not always ovulating, um, can we say I was somewhat out of whack?

As it were, the intrusion into American politics also pisses me off royally. Commentary by others that I should just pick up and go Episcopalian or Lutheran or some other liturgical branch also pisses me off royally. I DON'T DO PROTESTANTS. I was raised initially Methodist and then went to a more evangelical and fundamentalist church that was heavily anti-woman. Have the mental scars to boot. The difference is that there is a history of outspoken women within the Catholic Church, some of whom ended up as saints and Doctors of the Church (as is my own patronness, Catherine of Siena, who annoyingly is also acclaimed by conservatives who conveniently overlook the implications of a fourteenth century woman doing what she did in her life, including telling the current Pope of the time to "be a man! Go back to Rome!" as well as negotiate peace treaties between warring Italian city states).

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Didn't realize that 'bout C of S, fascinating - thx. I've known other Catholics who took the pill for similar reasons. Hoping the pendulum swings back to more sanity soon, but not holding my breath.

[quetz.livejournal.com]

A church used to be a good way to tie a community together, to remind folks that there is something that's bigger than ourselves, and to provide hope and support.

Nowadays I have a hard time seeing it as much more than a vestigial appendix on society that promotes divisiveness and terrible, terrible music.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

The music was good last Sunday: piano accompanying us singing hymns 'n' such. (Okay, me singing could well have turned it into terrible, terrible music, but I didn't sing loud enough to drown out the rest ;-)