Self-Stories
Feb. 4th, 2011 11:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mlerulesI'm in the midst of that oh-so-thrilling 'n' exhilarating process of meeting somebody new, of getting to know someone for the first time, and also once again sharing myself with and revealing myself to somebody new. I'm honest 'bout everything I say and feel, but I've also become quite aware of how there's a selection process going on, a sifting and focusing and revealing of facts and features and facets in a unique order in each situation/to and with each person. It's not necessarily a thought-out-ahead-of-time order. In fact, other than the initial OKC profile stuff, it's pretty much based on qx asked, on what comes up in conversation, on what makes sense as we dance the Getting-To-Know-Each-Other via OKC msg and now e-mail dance.
I'm currently engaged in a unique presentation of self in which, in some ways, I re-create myself anew in the process, making note & taking stock once again of who I am & how I got here...as well as how freaking complex this all is. ;-P One of the particularly exciting bits is that along the way, I find myself being and becoming even more aware of who I want to be and how to get from here to there. It's primarily in my choice of actions & reactions & in continued self-knowledge/awareness & communication. Phew!
Whee!
Hmm, I wonder if this process is something I've been missing/wanting: the dance of give-and-take, of sharing of ourselves, the discovery anew of myself as well as learning 'bout someone else. Of course I also feel I still have more to learn 'bout folks I've known for a long time - as well as 'bout myself along the way w/those folks. But it's more intense at the start of something w/someone new, precisely b'c 'tis the start and there's so much that's both unknown & unrevealed.
Hmm, mebbe there's something else going on as well though. I've said at times before that I feel as if I don't have a really good view of myself 'cept through another's eyes. Only now I realize that this ain't really so, 'specially since another's perception of me will, at least initially, stem from MY presentation of myself, what I choose to share - as well as how I choose to share it (language used, words chosen, style, &c.)
Another person sees me filtered through their own unique filters, perceptions, experiences. And that's how I see him/her, through my own. I try really hard not to make snap judgments but instead let the process work and the person reveal themselves, peeling back the layers of the onion, uncoiling, &c. It's fascinating seeing how folks get on, how we mesh, how we bounce off each other, what sorts of catalyzing'll occur. There's chemistry at work, as well as physics. And it's fun!
At this point, even if'n when we first meet in person we decide never to see or communicate w/each other again, I've had a blast and some marvie insights into myself and into Life, the Universe, and Everything, and that's really something. :-)
I'm currently engaged in a unique presentation of self in which, in some ways, I re-create myself anew in the process, making note & taking stock once again of who I am & how I got here...as well as how freaking complex this all is. ;-P One of the particularly exciting bits is that along the way, I find myself being and becoming even more aware of who I want to be and how to get from here to there. It's primarily in my choice of actions & reactions & in continued self-knowledge/awareness & communication. Phew!
Whee!
Hmm, I wonder if this process is something I've been missing/wanting: the dance of give-and-take, of sharing of ourselves, the discovery anew of myself as well as learning 'bout someone else. Of course I also feel I still have more to learn 'bout folks I've known for a long time - as well as 'bout myself along the way w/those folks. But it's more intense at the start of something w/someone new, precisely b'c 'tis the start and there's so much that's both unknown & unrevealed.
Hmm, mebbe there's something else going on as well though. I've said at times before that I feel as if I don't have a really good view of myself 'cept through another's eyes. Only now I realize that this ain't really so, 'specially since another's perception of me will, at least initially, stem from MY presentation of myself, what I choose to share - as well as how I choose to share it (language used, words chosen, style, &c.)
Another person sees me filtered through their own unique filters, perceptions, experiences. And that's how I see him/her, through my own. I try really hard not to make snap judgments but instead let the process work and the person reveal themselves, peeling back the layers of the onion, uncoiling, &c. It's fascinating seeing how folks get on, how we mesh, how we bounce off each other, what sorts of catalyzing'll occur. There's chemistry at work, as well as physics. And it's fun!
At this point, even if'n when we first meet in person we decide never to see or communicate w/each other again, I've had a blast and some marvie insights into myself and into Life, the Universe, and Everything, and that's really something. :-)
