The female brain excels in verbal tasks whereas the male brain is better adapted to visual-spatial and mathematical tasks. Women like to talk; men prefer action to words. Fail. E and I are reversed. You should watch us try to teach each other things. He's all about "tell" and I'm all about "show". It's maddening.
On the other hand, on emotional issues, I am the talker, and both boys are more about "Step 1...", though J's more about silence, usually. Le sigh. There is no consistent reliable truth on this point.
"People with the female brain make the most wonderful counsellors, primary school teachers, nurses, carers, therapists, social workers, mediators, group facilitators or personnel staff ... People with the male brain make the most wonderful scientists, engineers, mechanics, technicians, musicians, architects, electricians, plumbers, taxonomists, catalogists, bankers, toolmakers, programmers or even lawyers." Again, I rank as male.
4 Men's way of using language is competitive, reflecting their general interest in acquiring and maintaining status; women's use of language is cooperative, reflecting their preference for equality and harmony. I often refer to this as declarative and conditional speech. Some folk tend to speak in absolutes, predominantly men and "aggressive" women in my experience. I tend to speak with more conditionals, allowing room for contradiction, new data, uncertainty. This is not to say declarative speakers do not welcome correction/new data/etc., but it is less likely to be understood that way. And it does not mean the conditional speaker is uneducated on the topic - some of the best scientists out there are the ones who know when to specify the uncertainties of the subject. Speaking declaratively tends to result in more hackles being raised. Speaking conditionally can result in one being steamrollered. Knowing when to use absolutes (when you can back them up) and when to use conditionals ("in my experience", "it seems to me", "I think/feel") can alleviate much conflict. But it's a tricky skill.
Knowing when to use absolutes (when you can back them up) and when to use conditionals ("in my experience", "it seems to me", "I think/feel") can alleviate much conflict. But it's a tricky skill.
I tend not to bother with the "IMHO" or other conditional statements when it's clear (at least to me ;-) that I'm expressing my opinion rather than stating The Truth. Not sure whether this causes issues or not...hopefully if'n it does folks'll say something to me 'bout it.
I'm so freaking tired of beating around the bush and far prefer stating as clearly and directly as I can whassup w/me and what I want/need, trying to still act diplomatically w/out hurting feelings unnecessarily, but at the same time, I have little patience for dealing w/most Tender L'il Flowers aka uber-sensitive folks who'll assume I'm trying to diss them. Hmm. Interesting. I do wonder where this bit of diatribe welled up from...not really sure.
My use of conditional speech is usually an attempt to avoid coming off looking like a know-it-all (as several of our social circle are prone to doing) and making it known that I claim no expertise in such things when I don't. Lord knows I'll pull out the references and credentials for those things Fools will try to snow me about.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-04-16 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-16 08:08 pm (UTC)Fail. E and I are reversed. You should watch us try to teach each other things. He's all about "tell" and I'm all about "show". It's maddening.
On the other hand, on emotional issues, I am the talker, and both boys are more about "Step 1...", though J's more about silence, usually. Le sigh. There is no consistent reliable truth on this point.
"People with the female brain make the most wonderful counsellors, primary school teachers, nurses, carers, therapists, social workers, mediators, group facilitators or personnel staff ... People with the male brain make the most wonderful scientists, engineers, mechanics, technicians, musicians, architects, electricians, plumbers, taxonomists, catalogists, bankers, toolmakers, programmers or even lawyers."
Again, I rank as male.
4 Men's way of using language is competitive, reflecting their general interest in acquiring and maintaining status; women's use of language is cooperative, reflecting their preference for equality and harmony.
I often refer to this as declarative and conditional speech. Some folk tend to speak in absolutes, predominantly men and "aggressive" women in my experience. I tend to speak with more conditionals, allowing room for contradiction, new data, uncertainty. This is not to say declarative speakers do not welcome correction/new data/etc., but it is less likely to be understood that way. And it does not mean the conditional speaker is uneducated on the topic - some of the best scientists out there are the ones who know when to specify the uncertainties of the subject. Speaking declaratively tends to result in more hackles being raised. Speaking conditionally can result in one being steamrollered. Knowing when to use absolutes (when you can back them up) and when to use conditionals ("in my experience", "it seems to me", "I think/feel") can alleviate much conflict. But it's a tricky skill.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-16 08:31 pm (UTC)I tend not to bother with the "IMHO" or other conditional statements when it's clear (at least to me ;-) that I'm expressing my opinion rather than stating The Truth. Not sure whether this causes issues or not...hopefully if'n it does folks'll say something to me 'bout it.
I'm so freaking tired of beating around the bush and far prefer stating as clearly and directly as I can whassup w/me and what I want/need, trying to still act diplomatically w/out hurting feelings unnecessarily, but at the same time, I have little patience for dealing w/most Tender L'il Flowers aka uber-sensitive folks who'll assume I'm trying to diss them. Hmm. Interesting. I do wonder where this bit of diatribe welled up from...not really sure.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-16 08:48 pm (UTC)