Home Again...Anticlimax to the Max

[mlerules]

Wondered whether I'd get back into the swing of things LJ-wise when I ret'd to more familiar surroundings (mi casa). Still not sure. Wrote one then cut it and stuck it into my Thoughts journal ('puter-based). Don't really know what to say. Feeling mildly shy 'bout saying anything at all...don't know why.

I was gone for 3.5 weeks. It felt like ages and ages, months and months. I felt apart from here, from this...part of something else - several somethings in fact. Now I'm back and in some ways it's as if I never ever left, as if the seismic shifts in my universe, what changed within me, what happened and what could happen, didn't really...it's as if I've dreamed something, or it happened to someone else. 'Twas mostly all wonderful and otherwisely positive-superlative-laden. But now I'm here.

The kitties are happy to see me. They're napping on the bed just a few feet away. And I know that some folks will be happy that I'm back. I wish...what? I wish I were happier.

Usually I return home via PCH, driving down the coast, enjoying the sea & sun (or sea & fog, or fog & fog with naught but the salt air on my skin & in my nose reminding me I'm near the Pacific, depending) 'til I enter the tunnel at which point I get off the fwy and am home within 5 minutes. This time I left the Eastern Sierras behind and made my way through the desolation that's Hwy 14 & 5 (and then 405 & 10), with new building everywhere and strip-malls and ugliness and a decided lack of GREENERY (or GREENERGY as I've started considering it). Home again: no parades w/elephants & ticker tape, no fireworks, no huzzahs or whoopies. Just home. Driving in from the Sepulveda Pass w/my face wreathed in smiles was fab...now I'm feeling sorta blah. Of course the fact that it's late and I've driven much of the length of the state (plus a chunk of OR) over the past 48 hours might have something to do w/this. Keep forgetting this. Should give myself a break, allow myself to feel blah without it (the world) crashing down on me.

One day I'll get a CD of pics from the Cape Breton Island (Nova Scotia) portion of my adventures and will figure out how to post some of 'em here. (I've got a CD of some pics from the initial 5-day drive 'tween Sta Monica & Rainier, WA so should figure out how to post pics soon, I hope.)

Okay, I know what I need. I need a hug. And some sleep. In my own bed. Not alone.

Comments

[damiana-swan.livejournal.com]

*HUG*

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

thx

[shutt3rg33k.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

[ebony-sphynx.livejournal.com]

Well, it won't be for another day, but I promise to have at least 3 excellent hugs for you. I'd offer to cuddle with you tonight, because I understand the sadness of sleeping alone sometimes...but I already have a house-guest and must be up at the crack of dawn to drive to work. Some night though we should gather for giggles and silliness and fun...I think. See you soon. So very glad you're back, even if it is only briefly. Even gladder that I'll get to see you before you head out again!

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thx.

So very glad you're back, even if it is only briefly.

Not that briefly. Mostly back and around for approx 10 weeks...well, 'cept for most w'ends in August.

Giggles & silliness & fun shall happen!

[twistedcat.livejournal.com]

*throws confetti*

welcome home

[anansi133.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you're neither here nor there... if that's the case, I can certainly identify. I'm hoping you can find some space within yourself that's home no matter where you find yourself.

I've been thinking about you a lot lately. 10 weeks will go by quickly, I think.

[sidhefire.livejournal.com]

Home is where your heart is.. not where your stuff is... and I think that after this last visit up here, and the way we all connected.. you will always have another home here.. whenever you wander back our way. Enjoy your time down there & we'll see you back soon...
*lots of hugs*
(and much BPAL will be waiting here for you to sniff) *grins*

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thx!

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Thx...for everything.

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Well, I AM home 'cause I'm here...it's more positive peace of mind I crave. Nice to know I'm thought 'bout. Hope all's well w/you.

welcome back!

[thesaruswrex.livejournal.com]

and front too...

I'll call you. Wait, I did. Now its your turn, which was returning my call from a week ago... I think. Heck, I'll call anyways.

[redefining-self.livejournal.com]

Sounds to me like your heart has finally caught up to your soul. Seems like you're misplaced alright. Although I don't relish the possibility of not getting to spend time with you on those rare occassions where time allows you need to be where the Greenergy (I love that word, if you don't mind I'd like to use it some :) exists. The ennui in your post is clear. It is, perhaps, time to consider where you and are where you need to be to be happy. The close to '=' those two get the closer you are to . . . well, where you need to be. :)

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Feel free to use ther term Greenergy. These feelings combined w/most recent news (place likely to be sold out from under me) make me have to deal w/some serious sh!t in the very near future...sigh. Am indeed pondering on where I need to be, as you so aptly put it.

Fingers remain crossed for you and the next round of tests & results.