mlerules

Yep, at one and the same time I'm feeling pumped and up 'bout a new lovely day (life), yet there's a l'il something niggling at the back of my mind. If'n I were to dwell on it, if'n I were to start following the path I've begun several times but keep pulling back from/veering off course whenever I come to that particular fork in the road, well, I'd prolly get mad, which I don't really wanna do...dunno how bad 'tis to let things go unresolved - 'cause there ain't no resolution really/prolly 'cept inside me, and perhaps I'm just not ready to go there quite yet, in part b'c I'm not sure how to deal w/it all, other than get PO'd, than let it drift away. Does PO'dness drift away and get released or is it like a scab that the more I pick at it (think on it) the worse it'll get (possibly infected and nasty w/pus)? If I don't look at it (consider it/think it through - and experience the emotions/feelings that arise in the process), will it go away, or will it build unseen/unknown resentment/anger/badness of some as-yet-unknown variety? Hell, I don't know. Can keep myself away/apart for a bit longer, prolly, then whenever it seems right - prolly when I just can't stand it any more or when for whatever reason it makes itself known to me that it's Time to think on it and deal with it, THEN I'll do so. 'Til then, it's just a little twinge of WTF I get now and again. And it doesn't really impinge on the good mood I find myself in, as somehow I'm able to distance myself enough and compartmentalize things such that That doesn't affect This, at least not hugely noticably on a conscious level.

Hmm, I think I wanna try to find music to help bring out this mood and/or settle it and/or set it in place so I can deal with it. Not now though...later...some other time.