Out of System

[mlerules]

I want to get this OUT of my system so I can get back to my usual/normal cheery self. Have been venting and ranting in my mind on 'n' off for too long now. How long? Most recently just a day or two...some bits far longer. Don't like what I've become, what I seem to be: b!tchy, super-sensitive, jealous, unsure of how folks feel 'bout me, of whether I matter to him, of what's gonna happen or not. I say that one of my standard tests is Do I Like Who I Am When I'm With Him...yet if'n I reallly followed this rule I'd blast off and run run run away faster thanRoad Runner on speed. But that's part of the on-going somewhat longer-term rant - and I come to grips w/it periodically, but it still bugs me...perhaps time will tell...but how much f*ing time do I wait 'n' see to figure it out?!

For the current recent <48-hours rant, I must point out a few simple ways of ticking me off: push my buttons, try to manipulate me emotionally, throw things around, refuse to let bygones be bygones, act like something's wrong yet refuse to acknowledge it or give any clue as to how to make it better. Wanna drive me away? Just take your pick of these actions, or select several to speed up the process!

I KNOW it's hard to transition from life/love looking like X. But pouting, moping, bashing & crashing ain't gonna help matters none!

I'm now gonna go take long hot bubbly bath (vanilla or lavendar - haven't decided yet) while finishing up "Pyramids," my most recent Discworld find. Then I'll nap. Then the world will be a better place and I'll be happier 'bout life the universe and everything.

Oh, driving for hours today in the rain hasn't helped matters any...

Comments

[delerium3.livejournal.com]

**Hugs**

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

thx...much appreciated