Connections 'Tween Anticipation & Expectations

[mlerules]

It's been a while since I've felt moved to journal something, as opposed to post a link to pics or an article. Have recently felt more inspired again, more enthusiastic. Pleased by this.

Now to the topic(s) at hand though, which remain(s) obscure to me even now, so I'm gonna try the time-honored tradition of trying to type it out, in hopes that this'll help me see clearer now. Something something something 'bout the correlation/connection 'tween looking forward to something vs having no/few(er) expectations...or something. Okay, C/C ain't the right phrasing AT ALL.

It seems like a compare/contrast situation instead (still C/C, but of a different stripe). Oftentimes I get great joy and pleasure outta anticipating an event/happening. This usually makes the planning fun and enjoyable, as I imagine - and get good emotional feedback re: - what it'll be like when it comes to pass. Even if'n the specifics ain't clear, the process and likely outcome get impregnated w/positivity from anticipation. Even if'n I don't know who all'll show up for a thingie, knowing there'll be a thingie means it'll happen (or something'll happen) and the mixture (although unknown) will be good (most likely).

Having few(er)/no expectations, on the other hand, means there's not so much to look forward to, b'c one doesn't have as much of a sense of what's gonna happen. There's less anticipation. Does this then also result in decreased motivation to plan and/or try to make things so? How to deal w/this? Mebbe focus more on doing stuff for ME rather than necessarily w/others involved? Not clear what I'm on about...sigh.

Then there's the negative side of anticipation, such as ScanXiety. You know it's gonna happen, and you dread it (not necessarily the thing itself, although apparently it becomes infused w/the fear b'c it stands for - and will reveal - the true Nature of things: on-going OKness 'til next scan or fact that chemo drugs've stopped working and the end is more nigh than it'd been previously). Horrid. The expectation is that the scan will produce the REVEAL, which until it's known could be Good (relatively) or BAD (varying levels).

*********************

Another try at wrapping head 'round some of this stuff swirling around. What's the rship 'tween Anticipation & Expectation.

Emotional feedback loops: planning and anticipation of positivity

Effect of expectation(s): met/satisfied vs. not met/satisfied. What about if'n there are none/few(er) expectations?

What then is antici-SAY IT-pation? Emotional response to likelihood of satisfied expectation(s)?

Perhaps rather than try for NO expectation(s) one can opt for generalized ones (rather than specific). Ex: I dunno what'll happen, but it's likely to be positive. Hmm, dunno how much the specificity of imagined results affects the anticipation.

Hmm, doesn't this just get back to POSITIVE vs. NEGATIVE?

Aargh. I'm not making much sense. *SIGH*

I'd like to have someone to bounce this kinda idea off of, who grokked some of what I talk/think/go on/off about, who cared enough to bother trying and who thought/felt enough to help me.

Okay, here's possibly the new (or mayhaps the entire underlaying) topic: What do I want (and need) from/in my rships? What're my expectations? What do I anticipate and how much does anticipation drive...whatEVER?

Hmm, dunno if'n things're any clearer now, but I'll let it stay here for now and see if'n more shakes out.

*************

MEANWHILE: eggs & baskets and constellations and safety nets and safe harbors and trust andandand

Comments

[obsqurity.livejournal.com]

To me, it sorta sounds like you are dancing around the vaguely Buddhist concept of attachment. Does that ring any bells?

[mlerules.livejournal.com]

Don't know 'bout it, but if'n it'll help me figure out what I'm dancing around, that'd be swell. Have just begun rereading the Tao of Pooh in hopes of helping me figure some of this out.