mlerules: (labyrinth)
mlerules ([personal profile] mlerules) wrote2011-04-05 10:16 am
Entry tags:

Leafing Out

The leaves on the Japanese Red Maple in the Hive's front yard have begun growing and unfurling. 'Tis yet another sign of Spring. I'm awake and unfurling as well. Directions and pathways lie before me. Making choices does decrease the availability of all these options, but some'll fade away from disuse as well. Paths not trodden upon can lose their value/purpose. Ties that bind. Imagery of chains ain't so positive, although now I'm pondering the idea of r-ships having safewords and how the year-and-a-day handfasting sorta serves a similar purpose (stopping to see where you're at after a year and a day and see if'n you wanna renew yr vows/promises/continue investing resources in that/those directions).

******

What'm I leafing out? Hmm, LJ's no longer as interactive as it once was, which I do find somewhat discouraging. Yes, I do journal for myself, but once upon a time LJ served as well to create and maintain connections and r-ships both far and near. Now it's a bit like shouting down a well. I'll still process here, but I'm not doing so as much/often these days. Wondering how much this is b'c it feels like whispering into the void and how much is b'c I've shifted away from constant reporting and analysis. Feels like the former's less relevant than the latter, but chix 'n' eggs may be part of whassup. Heh - if'n I were to launch into a huge/long/deep disco of this, that'd be exactly the type o' thing I've done in the past...and may do in the future, when I'm drawn to do this.

Mebbe - ideally! - my mindfulness has become more intuitive and less express...not quite the right word/phrasing...mebbe it's now more internal than external.

Repeating Mindfulness Bits from Yesterday's LJ Post Here & Now so I can see 'em as I write/think/process:

"mindfulness—a meditative, moment-by-moment awareness of our thoughts, relationships, and external circumstances." Related to the "ability to be fully present in difficult situations and to respond more thoughtfully—less reactively—to challenging situations"

"[T]he core values cultivated through mindfulness practice—empathy, compassion, a sense of interconnection and impermanence"


Heh, and now I appear to be back to doing my usual thing here on LJ. Heh. And to what end? Who the heck cares? Turns out it really IS for ME. ;-)

Feeling like there's more wanting to come out, as the past few days/weeks've been really good ones, w/tidbits of far less than good...leading to some tough decisions I may well need to make sooner rather than later. Nothing I cannot wait on, but some I may well WANT to deal with rather than letting it lay fallow and ignoring it...and losing opportunities by doing so.

Okay, gonna skip being cryptic (for a change ;-). In short: The landladies're raising my rent by 5% as of June 1st. It's been above market all 4 years I've been here, so I'm fairly well PO'd 'bout this, 'specially since it's not the best place (even though it's got some pretty sweet stuff associated - space & location & energy). So, mebbe now's the time to buy, although that'll change a lot 'bout my life: putting down serious roots here (good), decreasing my ability to travel so much (as much money'll be tied up in real property) (sad), and more...)

[identity profile] deviantgrrrl.livejournal.com 2011-04-05 07:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I do read, and regularly, although not as often as before. I find myself with responses, and then glance at how long ago the entry was posted and stifle it. I feel strange about this, as I've been withdrawing again lately and it seems that this conduit that became so important is now mostly gone. I don't think I like it.

I do, however, very much look forward to seeing and speaking with you soon, and talking about all sorts of things in person. Or perhaps you're free for a call this evening? I'll try after work and find out.

Loves to you.

[identity profile] mlerules.livejournal.com 2011-04-05 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I find myself with responses, and then glance at how long ago the entry was posted and stifle it.

I hereby urge you to respond w/what comes to mind, regardless of WHEN the urge to respond arises. What matters most is THAT rather than WHEN.

Yay for chatting. Dunno how this eve'll work out though. I'm scheduled to go hiking w/Elise starting around 6pm, so dunno when I'll make it back home - and I may be wiped out afterward. If'n you call though, we can figure out whassup then. :-)

*loves backatcha*

[identity profile] deviantgrrrl.livejournal.com 2011-04-06 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[livejournal.com profile] dritikol and I ended up dining in the park last night, so I didn't get a chance to call. I will try tonight, though, and worst case you get a silly voicemail!

[identity profile] ignusfaatus.livejournal.com 2011-04-05 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
ack! Whatddabout a town house Or condo? maybe then you could still travel?

[identity profile] mlerules.livejournal.com 2011-04-05 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I'm making up a list of what I'd like/dislike, and I'd really like at least some garden-space, which makes condo/town-house less likely ('specially since the affordable condo I'd seen with private yard space now has a Sale Pending sign on't).

[identity profile] evilgerbil.livejournal.com 2011-04-05 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)
I still read here a lot. I've been too stuck in depression the last few months to post about anything of substance, or to reply to anything short of a cry for help.

[identity profile] andi-sunrider.livejournal.com 2011-04-06 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
feeling similarly re: lj, finding myself posting less and less because i use if for similar reasons, processing for myself, and letting friends a distance away know what I'm up to. More posts are going into private, since replies seem rare, anyways, so why bother?

boo rent increase.

[identity profile] mlerules.livejournal.com 2011-04-06 02:29 pm (UTC)(link)
More posts are going into private, since replies seem rare, anyways, so why bother?

Because now and again someone will say something that sparks a really good thought/reaction, that's why!