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Ripping Off the Scab & Licking My Wounds
Diff strokes for diff folks. Some keep it all inside and/or tell only a very few very close folks whassup. Some broadcast to the world whassup internally lots 'n' lots. My mode/method falls somewhere in the middle (tilted more to the latter).
Guess I need to admit that it's not yet "all better." Heck, it's never gonna be quite all better, as that seems to imply that things'll somehow return to where they were, which ain't gonna happen. IT = I / my life/head/heart/self
Trial by Tears. Damn that's a fine compilation I made. Heh - I can appreciate it even as it hurts lots. Ah yes, The End tape's playing once again...and the tears stream out once again. Yet...yet it feels more cleansing now, less purely painful. Have felt a bit as if'n 'twere so, but'm only now realizing how much I've needed a good cathartic blast of tears and pain.
There're lotsa good memories mixed in w/some really not so good patches 'n' bits. I don't feel that I have a good handle on what happened. (I hope to have a better idea/feeling at some point, but realize that this might not happen.)
Realization: what works best for me is to mix getting "too pooped to pout" w/taking quiet just me time to ponder 'n' process. It's prolly why I've not fully booked myself on my upcoming CA Toad Rip. The driving itself will be good, as will taking time for myself doing whatever feels right at the moment.
...
And so I lick my wounds and get on w/my life...
EDIT: And apparently there's good reason why my self-healing methods work decently well for me.
Guess I need to admit that it's not yet "all better." Heck, it's never gonna be quite all better, as that seems to imply that things'll somehow return to where they were, which ain't gonna happen. IT = I / my life/head/heart/self
Trial by Tears. Damn that's a fine compilation I made. Heh - I can appreciate it even as it hurts lots. Ah yes, The End tape's playing once again...and the tears stream out once again. Yet...yet it feels more cleansing now, less purely painful. Have felt a bit as if'n 'twere so, but'm only now realizing how much I've needed a good cathartic blast of tears and pain.
There're lotsa good memories mixed in w/some really not so good patches 'n' bits. I don't feel that I have a good handle on what happened. (I hope to have a better idea/feeling at some point, but realize that this might not happen.)
Realization: what works best for me is to mix getting "too pooped to pout" w/taking quiet just me time to ponder 'n' process. It's prolly why I've not fully booked myself on my upcoming CA Toad Rip. The driving itself will be good, as will taking time for myself doing whatever feels right at the moment.
...
And so I lick my wounds and get on w/my life...
EDIT: And apparently there's good reason why my self-healing methods work decently well for me.
no subject
Growth/healing is a process, not a goal. You are making progress and that's really all you need worry about.
And I'm really glad you know that you may never get the closure you feel you need. But I also know that you'll eventually create closure for yourself.
Hang in and keep moving.
Thank You
Good words, these.
And yes, I'm continuing to keep on swimming... ;-)